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I decided not to breastfeed with the new baby and my MIL is furious at me, said she wants to try to lactate

I am pregnant with my 3rd child.For financial reasons, we have decided that I will go back to work about 3 weeks after the newest addition is born. For this reason, I have decided not to breastfeed this one.
During a conversation about work and finances with the in-laws, the MIL asked what I was going to do about breastfeeding. I told her I decided not to with this one it would be too hard going to work full time. She blew up at me, told me that I and my husband was selfish. Then she proceded to say her grandbaby will be formula fed over her dead body, she was going to try to lactate herself and freeze the milk! Is that insane and a bit disgusting? I found out she actually went and bought herself an electric breast pump yesturday!


Asked by Anonymous at 2:20 PM on May. 18, 2010 in Pregnancy

This question is closed.
Answers (101)
  • wow!
    sorry for your situation
    but i will remember this one when my MIL steps over a line

    how old is she?
    can a woman who has not had a child in years really get her milk to come back?
    if there is no chance, you may find some humor in knowing that she is trying

    you are so right on this point, and she is so over the line there is no gray area

    she needs to be put in her place, i assume this is not the only line she has crossed or will in the future unless she is stopped

    i would have your husband and you by his side speak to her

    good luck

    she is nuts, could she be suffering from metal illness??? no really, a sane person would not act like that

    Answer by fiatpax at 2:28 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • I'd have your husband talk to her about it and tell her that she's over stepping her boundaries as a grandparent and needs to back off NOW.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:22 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • You tell her over your dead body she will breastfeed your child.

    Answer by louise2 at 2:23 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • She sounds like a control freak. My SIL has "jokingly" said stuff like her DIL's better nurse. She wants her grandbabies all breastfed and if they wont do it she would feed them herself. It is disturbing!! First off let me say I do believe in breastfeeding but I also think each mother has a choice!! You will just have to politely tell her that you respect that she prefers breastfeeding but this is your decision. Also let her know she can pump all she wants but your baby will be on formula. This is really none of her business.

    Answer by ria7 at 2:24 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • It's not her business actually. Are you really going to be up to going back to work just after 3 weeks? Unless your on wick do you know how much money formual costs? Possibly more then you will bring in. YOu can pump and store.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:26 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • Oh and I think it's crazy she wants to lactate. That's just gross!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:27 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • EWWW! That's just weird. She should respect your decision. Ugh, if I were in your situation, I'd be afraid to ask her to babysit for fear that she would secretly bring in a wet nurse to feed the baby or something. I'm sure I would tell my MIL that she is being very inappropriate.

    Answer by kenzie07 at 2:28 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • That is extremely weird. I would tell her she can pump but your not going to use her milk. Just tell her shes being way to pushy. Its your child and your decision.

    Answer by Sophie4910 at 2:28 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • Not to be some crazy breastfeeding nazi here but...can you at least nurse for the first couple weeks? Either way, you're going to have to deal with the full sore breasts...and some is better than none. And maybe you'll have problems nursing and your MIL will have to STFU. I am not opposed to formula feeding at all, but I still think you could nurse part time, in the morning and evening :) My daughter is 6 months and that what I do.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:37 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • ok, wow that's weird. you should definitely have dh talk to her.

    however, i wasnt able to breastfeed my son so i did pump so he had breastmilk, and i also did both... some formula and some breastmilk. not sure ur financial situation but formula is expensive...if you qualify for wic they will provide formula, if you breastfeed they will give vouchers for various foods, milk, cheese, cereal, juice.. if you do both....they will provide formula and vouchers for the foods i listed.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:40 PM on May. 18, 2010