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Adoption

If anyone here has given their child up for adoption regardless of the reason I'm curious to know how you felt about the situation. I'm pregnant and there is a VERY close family friend who can't have children. Her and her husband are on the adoption waiting list and it's a 6yr wait. My heart goes out to her and it's obvious everyone is looking at me (this wasn't a planned pregnancy). I'm opting to let her adopt the baby but I don't know how it's going to make me feel. I already get teary eyed thinking about not bringing my baby home. Honestly, it IS a bad time for me and SO to have the baby and she would make a great mother and 6yrs is a VERY long time to wait. And I know I could have another baby later when it would be better for me and SO. SO looks at me and says "I'm open to your decision and will support which ever you choose to do. Is her happiness worth your heartache?"

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:35 PM on May. 18, 2010 in Pregnancy

Answers (6)
  • I've been there. We had a close family friend who is not able to have a baby and I even talked to them about taking mine. It killed me. I cried aaalll the time about giving my baby up. I also talked to someone about it and she said I support adoption, but if you know you can give that baby all the love in the world..keep it. Your financial state can change tomorrow. So I kept my baby and I'm so glad that I did...things worked out for me. GL
    Keeely07

    Answer by Keeely07 at 2:39 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • who cares about you or her? what about the baby? that baby wants its mommy. i cant stand people who makes babys and give them away to strangers.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 3:11 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • I've never been pregnant so I can't answer it from that point but as a mother of 3 adopted children through totally different circumastances (ours were adopted through foster care and parents lost their right for the choices they made) I do have a friend that gave a baby up 12 years ago and she has said not a day goes by that she doesn't think about her, she now has 2 other girls and is married. She was in 8th or 9th grade when she got pregnant and knew she couldn't be mom so even though it was tough she is at peace with knowing her little girl is in a good home and being cared for. I know from the experience of not being able to have a child what a great gift adoption is. May you find the answer that works for you and have peace within yourself with whatever you decide.
    niehoff9

    Answer by niehoff9 at 4:27 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • : PURPULbutterfly
    who cares about you or her? what about the baby? that baby wants its mommy. i cant stand people who makes babys and give them away to strangers.

    Why do you have to be such a bitch? That answer really hurts, as I'm a birthmom and did what was best FOR MY BABY. You've never been in the situation, you need to shut your mouth and walk away from questions you can't answer decently.

    OP - if you're already having a hard time just thinking about it, it'll be worse when the time comes to go home without your baby. I made the decision, picked out the family, spent time with them, etc, and it just killed me - I really had no other option though. If you can make it work, hard as it will be, and you let your friend adopt your baby, it'll be hell on you. Best wishes with whatever you decide.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:58 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • Don't mind Purpul.

    The other two responses were great and heartfelt. My response is the same as your SO's. Do what is best for the baby AND yourself. Don't let the circumstances of the other party even come into your mind. Would you give the child up if those close friends weren't on the adoption list?
    twin_mommy

    Answer by twin_mommy at 4:59 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • OP here..and I actually know the girl I'm considering to let adopt....I grew up with her.....it's not some stranger..and it's not that I made the baby and I'm giving it up. She can't have children and they are looking to me to be the answer to her prayers. If you have a negative response to my question that is fine and your right to your opinion but please be sure to read the entire question before mouthing off. It's not only rude but makes you look ignorant.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:30 AM on May. 19, 2010

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