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Do you think that the more you shelter your children, the more likely they are to rebel later on in life?

I was thinking about this after responding to a question about home schooling. I'm not specifically referring to home schooling in this question, but more how I've noticed that children who have really strict parents tend to be to be the ones who rebel later on. The worst trouble makers I've known have all had really strict parents. On the contrary,my parents were pretty trusting of me and gave me some freedoms, and I've never been in any serious trouble. It's also a given that if children are given too much freedom that they'll often get into trouble as well, I know. Has anyone else noticed this correlation?

 
LovingSAHMommy

Asked by LovingSAHMommy at 4:24 PM on May. 18, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 40 (115,957 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • I had to think about this one for a minute. And Agree with the others. I give my girls limits and work with them when those limits need to be adjusted. A curfew, or something . I feel that this has helped to give her no reason to rebel.
    wallmom1

    Answer by wallmom1 at 4:38 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • Yes. my kids are now adults, and as teens they didn't rebel much, I was a mom with rules that were mendable according to circumstances, and I did notice friends who had stricter ones were the ones to always got in trouble, mine never did.
    older

    Answer by older at 4:28 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • absolutely....there is no need for parents to control everything in their child's lives.
    aliishott2

    Answer by aliishott2 at 4:28 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • Yes I do cause my inlaws did n their kids all went wild except the one child they wasn't strict with!!
    mom2wy

    Answer by mom2wy at 4:29 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • I have seen it over and over the more control you have in your child's life the more out of control they become in their late teens.
    me and my cousins were givin alot of freedom and we never were trouble makers....my kids get plenty of freedom and they are straight up honest and people tell me what a good job i have done raising them...give them freedom and they have no reason to rebel
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:41 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • It really depends on what the relationship is between parent and child. I'm a strict parent, but I don't see my kids rebelling against me or going totally wild. I'm not saying it won't happen, I'm just not seeing it. The many reason is because I have REASONS for the way I parent, reasons beyond "I'm the parent and I say so". Reasons that I'm able to share with my children and we have an age appropriate discussion about why they can't do this or that. We have a very loving relationship and they know ultimately Mom and Dad has these rules because they love us, not because they want to control us. So I really don't think it's a matter of being strict or not, it's a matter of what the parenting style is; We are authoritative parents, but we are NOT authoritarians. It's my personal believe those that have a authoritarian parent style are the one that most likely will have children that rebel. There is a difference....
    SAHMinIL2

    Answer by SAHMinIL2 at 4:42 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • I think it depends on other factors...you cant just say that they went wild because the parent were strict...or that they are good because the parents werent...

    growing up my parents were strict - I didnt rebel, I never drank, smoked, did drugs, because I didnt want to dissapoint my parents.......my husband on the other hand had very "open" parents...they had a few rules but basically just let them decide for themselves......my husband also didnt drink or do drugs or anything -- BUT his siblings are all druggies and have all been to jail !
    glamomomo

    Answer by glamomomo at 4:47 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • My dad was strict and my mom wasn't. It was a good balance because I never got into much trouble. When the opportunity came, (drugs, sex, stealing, fighting) I chose not to follow. I owned my own house at 19 and didn't have my first child until I was married. Mainly because I knew my father would kill me! I was given responsibilities at an early age which taught me independence. I think it's good to set limits because I had friends who's mother's didn't care what they did and they turned out having low self esteem and trust issues etc.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:52 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • My mom went past strict to extremely controlling of every aspect of my life. That causes rebelling. She told me how to breathe..LOL Well, almost, it was really bad.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 5:04 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • I DEFINITELY believe this.
    BaisMom

    Answer by BaisMom at 7:25 PM on May. 18, 2010

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