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A lil advice please

I have a 2yr old and him and his dad just dont get along. I am a full time college student but am at home a lot with our son while my DH works two jobs and is at home either part of the day or not at all. I do the discplining, but my DH and DS usually rough house and play with each other when hubby is home. Recently my DH has been home a lil more and our DS will throw a fit whenever his dad tells him to do something or even try to change his diaper. My DS will scream at the top of his lungs and try to hit DH IDK what to do bc when I tell him something he will listen and doesnt act like that. Does anyone have any advice as to how DS will respond better to DH?? It gets frustrating when they dont get along.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:39 PM on May. 18, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (9)
  • You answered your own question mom, you discipline, while dad plays and roughhouses with him.

    He considers you the parent and dad to be a big brother, who he doesnt have to listen to just play and hit.

    Dad needs to step up more into a father role.

    Playing and roughhousing is GREAT but there is a time and a place for that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:43 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • i would make him apologize every time and start corner time or time out and then make him do what he was asked (but make dad do all of it) just bite your tongue. kids will control you if you let them.
    angevil53

    Answer by angevil53 at 6:52 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • I agree with Anon .. he's viewing dad as a friend and you as the parent .. your son needs to learn he has TWO parents who have equal rights to discipline, but it's okay that he rough house's with dad too.
    NOLAmommaKRYS

    Answer by NOLAmommaKRYS at 6:55 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • @angevil I feel like Im underminding DH when I tell him what to do and how to handle the situation in front of DS. I have tried so many times to bite my tongue thinking it will happen. I guess we just need more practice.

    The other answers Im not asking what is wrong Iam asking how can I fix it?

    Thanks!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:01 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • I agree with Anon too. DH needs to start acting more like a parent, then a playmate to his son.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:02 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • Takes time and consistency.

    When your son screams, it's obviously working or he wouldn't do it. So there's room to change that. : ) He's 2 years old, you can do time out in room for 2 minutes, when he acts up/doesn't listen.

    Buy a poster board/ or use reg. paper and make a chart hang it up. Sun-Sat. Buy some stickers. Let him put a sticker on the chart for the day if he listened well that day. If he gets a certain amount of stars for a week like 3-4 a week give him a prize and work your way up. Have your DH do this with him as much as possible.

    You and your DH are a team, work as a team. When your DH gives an oder, let him enforce it as well as the punishment if it's not followed. If your son comes screaming to you. Simply get down on his level, say your dad asked you to do this. He's the boss too. You need to listen to your dad. He will of course at first scream again... So what you do is let DH put him in his room 2min
    Skepticchick

    Answer by Skepticchick at 7:32 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • You need to take a step back and let dad handle the situation. You and dad need to talk about what the expectations are so that all 3 of you are on the same page. I would also never, never talk to your husband in front of the child because it shows them that you aren't a united front and a child will try to manipulate the situation any way they can. I wish you luck.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 7:34 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • I also wanted to say, if it seems they do not get along.

    Have your DH start a monthy daddy son day. My DH will once every 2 weeks or so have a sleep over in the front room, stay up late... watch movies. Or my DH will take my son to the movies, just the two of them.

    Since I'm a SAHM it's refreshing for me, and gives my son time away from me to bond with his dad. Making both relationships better.

    At Michaels crafts store, or all a dollar, they have paint, and wood objects... for $1 dollar. Buy some, have your DH paint with him once every so often to bond. So they can build a tighter relationship. Outside rough housing.

    Them bonding well, will help when it comes time to discipline. So he's not just a playmate. He's a father. A friend, an enforcer, a caregiver. : )

    Good luck.

    Remember it won't come over night. That's okay as long as your consistent. It may take up to two weeks of being consistent.
    Skepticchick

    Answer by Skepticchick at 7:44 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • Thank you ladies for the advice...hopefully all will be getting better!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:09 AM on May. 19, 2010

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