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No sex drive

I have zero sex drive. There are times when I am very horny, but then the though of having sex with my DH kills that feeling. I love him, and am very much in love with him, but I am not sexually attracted to him anymore. Tthis stems from not feeling sexy myself, issues with him not wanting to sleep with me during my pregnancy, and the fact that every time we have had sex in the past two years it has been the same 10 minutes. We use to have a great sex life, and he was always open to new things (i.e. positions, toys, etc). Lately it's kiss me for 2 minutes (which he only does when he wants some) and then missionary for 8 minutes. Most of the time I have to go to the bathroom and finish myself off because he doesn't get the job done. Also I am scared to death of getting pregnant again. We can't afford my birth control, and I am allergic to latex. He was suppose to get snipped but hasn't. What would you do???

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:24 PM on May. 18, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • If you can't afford birth control, go to the health dept. They give it for free... even if you don't qualify, the pill is $4 per month. It doesn't sound like that is the real issue though, and honestly, I am going through the same thing... so good luck...

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:26 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • Original Poster, we make to much money to qualify for any assistance. Our medical insurance company just doubled the cost of my birth control at the beginning of the year. The pharmacy told me I am paying all but $5 of the prescription now. And that I was already on one of the cheapest pills out there.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:30 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • Why don't you look into a long term birth control like the IUD or something else that is out there. One time payment and then your protected. I don't think that is the real issue either but if that is what you want to tell yourself that's you....

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:33 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • OP again. So I re-read my posts, and never once did I say that BC is the only issue. I said it was one of the issues. I believe I listed the major things first. So I am no "telling" myself anything. I just responded to the first person's advise of BC. As for an IUD, that is $780 that we don't have right now. I have looked into it. Also my GYN has said that due to the shape of my uterus, I have a HIGH CHANCE OF FAILURE and SLIPPAGE with an IUD. All of this is why my husband was suppose to get a vasectomy.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:43 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • Use the spermicide foams and lambskin female condoms for now. You can buy the foam right at CVS or Walmart. They even have spermicide gels that come in like a tampon tube that you push up into just like a gel tampon. It caps the openingto your cervix and men can't feel it. It last a few hours, which means you can put it in a few hours before sex. They sell that at you local drugstores. Hope that helped a little :) Good luck.

    Answer by piercedbeauty21 at 8:52 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • what about a diaphram, they are cheap and easy to use and i don't think they are latex. there's nothing anyone on here can do about you not wanting to have sex with your hubby. it happens.

    Answer by angevil53 at 9:28 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • What about intimacy outside of the bedroom? Does he basically all but ignore you until he 'wants some'? If you're not together outside the bedroom; it's hard to feel together inside; at least for me; that's our problem. He comes home late; puttzes around the house; takes a long bath; yes a bath and watches a movie while he's in there! Then watches another movie after; and these are movies he's seen a dozen times at least before; and then when HE'S ready he decides to come rub on my shoulder or try to kiss me...sorry doesn't work that way for me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:26 AM on May. 19, 2010

  • OP again. No he really doesn't pay attention to me outside of the bedroom. Unfortunately I am so use to him only wanting attention when he wants some, that if he tries to hug me, or cuddle I just push him away. He is running for a political office, so he is really busy. I swear it is like I am a married single parent. He knows this, and all he has to say is "If I am elected, it will bring in so much more money"

    I know we have a lot of intimacy issues. I also know "nobody can do anything about me not wanting to have sex with my husband" I wasn't asking you to fix it for me. I was asking for suggestions on what other people who have been in my situation have done, or what you would do if you were in my situation.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:05 PM on May. 19, 2010

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