Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Help with baby shower ettiquette!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was told my mother cant afford to do my baby shower or help pay for stuff and my sister lives in washington state, she will be moving back near me but not sure if itl b in trime for baby shower. my husband is ready to buy the baby shower decor and also the food. I am going to put my sister as host because she wants to be but just in caseshe cant be here how do i do this???? who is my host my husband and my sis??? and also i am most likely having to fill out all invites myself> or should i mail them to my sister to do and have her mail them out from washington state back to so cal!!! hellp

Answer Question

Asked by thorsmommy368 at 9:17 PM on May. 18, 2010 in Pregnancy

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • I know ettiquette is important, but at the same time, anyone who is family or a real friend should understand the situation and importance of the baby shower. I was only 3 months pregnant when I had mine. We are military and my hubby was in Alabama and I was soon to join him. No one griped or made any comment that it was too early, esp since we had no idea on the sex. But back to your question, I would put that your husband and sister are giving it. Ask your sister about the invitations and if she is willing to work over the phone with you and your husband. I had a hand in planning mine. It's an exciting time that people who love you shouldn't care who is throwing you a shower.

    Answer by MissHeidi0304 at 9:26 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • First off add up what you are going to spend to supply food, drinks,decorations, invitations, a hall if you are renting one etc. It may be a good idea and cheaper to just buy your own baby gifts. If it is cheaper to have the shower, I would have what we call here a Jack and Jill shower. Men and woman are both invited to a Jack and Jill. I would then appoint your husband as the host and mail out your own invites. Your sister living that far away is a big risk. If she wants to be included she can bake the cake or cookies, make the favors and maybe come a day early to help decorate. GL

    Answer by MLM0503 at 9:50 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • As far as etiquette goes, your husband shouldn't be the host....we all know that a shower is to shower the new parents with gifts for the baby, but it's considered bad etiquette for the parents to do that for themselves. Since you asked about etiquette. You really shouldn't fill out and mail your own invitations either. It would be better if one of your friends hosted the shower.....if you're concerned about etiquette.

    I know a lot of people feel that rules of etiquette are unnecessary, then you should go ahead and just give yourself the party, because if you fill out the invitations yourself, and have the party at your home, and pay for everything yourself, everyone knows you're giving the party for yourself. Make it a couple's party, be honest, and instead of calling it a shower, call it a party to help you prepare for the baby.....

    Congratulations on your little one.

    Answer by ohwrite at 10:26 PM on May. 18, 2010

  • Ok, I am not one who is all about etiquette. At least no one *I* personally knows gives a rip who the host is, or if this is a subsequent shower. At any rate....if your mom simply can't pay for decor and food, you can still have HER host. No one is gonna know WHO bought the stuff. She can fill out the invites, or you can. Again, WHO is going to know YOU filled them out unless they see your handwriting on a daily basis? Since your buying the food and decor, have your mom tell you how many people have RSVP'D and buy according to that, so you don't spend too much. At my last shower, I helped my host fill out the invites (I bought them) and helped purchase food. If your inviting friends and family that love you, I highly doubt they're going to even notice...they'll be too busy celebrating your little one on the way! GL and congrats mama!

    Answer by milfalicious08 at 10:21 AM on May. 19, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.