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What would you say if suddenly your husband says, "I want to stay home with the kids. We can cut back on things and if you get a better job we can afford it."

Staying at home is a two way street. If you can do it, why can't he? Many of you would be very upset if your husband stayed home, but why?

You CANNOT say it is biblical for a woman to stay home and not work. It states in Proverbs 31 that a woman should buy and sell. It is NOT a womans job to take care of the home and family. It just works out that way for some. My question is, who decides who works and who doesn't? Why is it up to the wife if she doesn't want to work?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:16 AM on May. 19, 2010 in Money & Work

Answers (15)
  • when i was growing up my dad was a stay at home dad and my mom worked all the time and they were happy that way so i grew up thinking that the dad stayed home and did the cooking/cleaning

    Answer by aliishott2 at 8:19 AM on May. 19, 2010

  • In my hubby feels the need to provide for his family, and he feels less of a man if he can't. I respect that. I don't mind staying home with the kids. But, I am infact looking for a part time job, not that we need the money...but I could use a couple hours a week away from the kids, and interacting with people who are over the age of 3. It would be nice lol. But hey...if my hubby was like, I'm gunna stay home with the kids and you're gunna get a good job and work...I'd be like hell yeah....find me the job and we'll do it! Of course, it probably wouldn't last long, because I would miss the kids way too much lol.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:22 AM on May. 19, 2010

  • And I think generally in most homes...women are just more interested in caring for the kids then the men are. Like my hubby LOVES our kids, there is no doubt about that...but he would not enjoy doing everything I do every day.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:23 AM on May. 19, 2010

  • My husband and I both grew up with SAHMs. We both feel it is a man's job to go out and provide for his family (I was taught a man's role is to: provide, protect, and preach). If my husband weren't providing for us, he wouldn't have as much respect for himself as a man. Although he would love more time to spend with the kids, we agreed before we were married that these would be our roles. If he ever lost his job and couldn't find another, of course I would work while he stayed home but not for any extended period of time. He takes pride in what he provides for us and would never tell me I needed to work while he stayed home. Plus, the house wouldn't be nearly as clean!

    Answer by missanc at 8:25 AM on May. 19, 2010

  • Mine did and it worked out great. I made more money than he did. If he hadn't have been a cheating dog it would have worked well and we'd still be together.

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:27 AM on May. 19, 2010

  • My dh and I both agree and feel that it is the husband's job to provide for his family. That being said we both have said in the past that if I could ever get a job that makes more than he does, he would be the one to stay home. That would better provide for our family. It is all about what works for your family at the time. Honestly, if he was the one home the house would most likely be cleaner and more organized. He is better at that stuff than me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:28 AM on May. 19, 2010

  • Anon 8:28 here - I just wanted to add that the Proverbs 31 woman also took care of her family. That was also her job.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:32 AM on May. 19, 2010

  • Generally speaking men make more money then women; so sometimes it's not a matter of "gender" role, it's simply the man makes more money so it might be easier to make it on that ONE paycheck vs. the other way around. There are some cases were the woman makes more money, has better benefits, so it might be better of the man to stay home. Each couple has to make the determination on what is good for their family, household. For some it's for the man to stay home and the woman work, for others its the man work and the woman stay home, and yet for others it's for both couples to work. So are luck enough to have real, established, jobs that allow them to work from home as well. In some cases it's possible for the woman to stay home and earn an income. (or the man can stay home and earn an income).

    Answer by SAHMinIL2 at 8:33 AM on May. 19, 2010

  • i don't work right now but once my daughter is born i will be getting a better job then what my fiance does. i'd be more than happy for him to stay at home with her while i work. i'd still be able to raise her and take care of her but i need to work as well, that's just me

    Answer by aliishott2 at 8:36 AM on May. 19, 2010

  • I'd laugh my head off. He can't stand the kids for two hours by himself & can't cook a decent meal. We'd be eating cold cereal & mac & cheese out of a box every day.

    Ideally, I wouldn't mind working out of the home IF he could hold up the household cleaning/cooking/gardening/canning/scheduling/finance end of the deal. Heck, I'd LOVE to work only 8 hours & then come home and put my feet up for the rest of the day while my husband does all the cooking & cleaning.

    Oh, and that biblical part? MOST of that passage is dedicated to how she watches over her household and does housework (sewing, spinning & weaving, smart shopping, growing grapes for wine, oversees the household chores). Buying & selling things she made is only one part. Her husband was not a SAH husband or parent.

    Answer by michiganmom116 at 8:41 AM on May. 19, 2010

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