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How should I approach this?

I'm a step mom for 15 years now.My sd's mom has always hated me from the begining.For the most part I have just tried to stay out of their decisions.and not bother his ex.But my sd is having a hs graduation dinner.and she wants me and her dad there.I'd like to sit at the same table.With her mom, sd, her dad, then me.That way she wouldn't have parents sitting on oppiset sides of the room.EX wife was recently diagnosed as bipolar.(knew it already!)I have to add that sd wants to live with me and her dad,while she goes to colledge.How do I approach her mom to keep peace?

Answer Question

Asked by evelynwest at 11:42 AM on May. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,667 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • I think your husband should approach it. Just say you guys would like to sit with her as well could we get a table together? I think sd has to approach her mom about where she lives in college.

    Answer by ria7 at 11:45 AM on May. 19, 2010

  • If she is graduating HS, she is either 18 or will be very soon. I would say, let her tell her mom. It's her decision anyway and if she's 18, then she's old enough to make that decision on her own. Keeps you and DH out of the situation and lets her mom know that it was her decision and not yours or DH. Hope that helps!

    Answer by mommyerin02 at 11:46 AM on May. 19, 2010

  • I agree completely with Ria7. Great advice there.

    Answer by Skepticchick at 11:49 AM on May. 19, 2010

  • this is your sd's choice and her responsibility to let her mother know her wishes - she's about to graduate and is practically an adult. all you have to do is take care of your side of the street and act like a grownup. obviously the sd already understands that her mom is a problem or she wouldn't be asking to live with you. hopefully everyone can respect your daughter enough to act right.

    Answer by figaro8895 at 12:20 PM on May. 19, 2010

  • what ever happens lay low and be gracious. Sounds like a good kid and it is hard to have them make these choices. I would say sit where ever it works out and smile at her and let her know no matter what she is special to you. Just be there for her. You need to not be in this, let your husband deal with his ex- if the daughter does come to stay with you during college don't ever have any discussions with her about her mom. Just offer love and support. Continue to do the right thing for the kid. In the end she will remember and appreciate it.

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 3:38 PM on May. 19, 2010

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