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I don't understand...

My fiancé and i have been fighting a lot lately. It's always over something ridiculous and unimportant. Although we know this, we argue anyways. I don't know what to do. We have a 9 month old son and this fighting is tearing us apart. I need help...advice...something.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:22 PM on May. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • One of u has to make concessions and it s usualy and unfortunatly the woman. GL
    Imane1215

    Answer by Imane1215 at 2:27 PM on May. 19, 2010

  • i started fights with people at one time. i needed to chill so i dont nitpick at everything anymore...i figure start a fight over something that REALLY matters and applys to me, not over something as stupid as putting my nose into someone's facebook and nitpicking at why that person has 200 friends but i only have less then 50, i mean, that is what they choose to do, and they are happy with it.
    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 2:37 PM on May. 19, 2010

  • omg i'm in the same exact situation me and my df have been arguing constantly it's getting out of hand kind of and we also have a 9 month old son i live with my mom though so we don't live together and i think that is one of the reason we fight alot too so i need advice as well
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:04 PM on May. 19, 2010

  • The only thing you can change is you. So focus on that. Try to figure out what starts the fights and work from there. Address issues when you both are in a good mood. Use statements that start with "I". I feel sad when we don't spend time together..instead of "you never spend time with me" listen when he talks to you. Even if you don't agree allow him to exress himself and make it your goal to find a happy solution for him. Accept him for who he is and hold back negative comments and let out everything positive. Keep working and it will get better.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 3:19 PM on May. 19, 2010

  • If you know that the arguements are ridiculous and unimportant, then stop arguing with him. Once he realizes that he cannot get a rise out of you, he'll stop and the two of you will begin to have more discussions than arguements...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 3:27 PM on May. 19, 2010

  • Well I think it could be a few reasons, if there is a stressor, which a nine month old can be, you could be bickering from stress, maybe you are both in a cycle where the other one hears everything negativly, and gets frustrated over it. Ive been in that situation. I changed the only thing i could, myself. I stopped being rude, and started being nice, I would bite my tounge and say nothing when he would say something negative, I stopped nagging, started being sweet and treating him like he is really special (which he is) and making him feel apreciated, he in turn started to do the same with me. So work on yourself first, then see how it affects you both.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:30 PM on May. 19, 2010

  • My husband and I fought ALL THE TIME before our wedding. I think it was the stress of planning the wedding, and the typical concerns about getting married. Planning a wedding is stressful enough, but having a 9 month old on top of that has to be really stressful.

    I think to an extent it is normal. EVERYONE I know who is married has said they almost called the wedding off during the planning stages. I say if you can make it through the stress of planning the wedding and having a 9 month old, you can survive anything.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:10 PM on May. 19, 2010

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