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I need help getting out!

Married for 6 months. Found out 4 months ago he cheated on me. I want out so bad but don't know where to start. I live on the West Coast and want to move to the East Coast. We have a child(ren) together. I am 2 months along with #2. How do I get a divorce, get full custody of my child(ren), and move across country? Is it even possible? I really need help. We of course are living together. But not sure what the living arrangements will be after I start the process of the divorce. I'm very low income so this makes me think it is going to be harder. Every penny I have saved is to fly back home. I know I should talk to him about it but that hasn't worked lately. Any help would be apperciated!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:28 PM on May. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (21)
  • I don't think it's right to take the children away from their father. You'd both be living on different ends of the country. It was would be VERY difficult for your husband to maintain a relationship with the kids. If he so desires, he can ask the courts to force you to stay in the state. I'm sorry he cheated on you, but he didn't cheat on the KIDS. Don't ruin their relationship with their father!

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:32 PM on May. 19, 2010

  • 1) is he military? If so then you might be able to take the children out of state because you're in neither of your home states. 2) You can just leave the state with your kids as you could be charged with kidnapping if your husband is smart enough to figure that out. 3) If he's been physically abusive or you're scared you can call the domestic violence hotline and they can set you up with a shelter and give you legal advice. Good lucky and I'm sorry but it's better you realized this now then years later.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:42 PM on May. 19, 2010

  • OP: there is no named father on the birth certificate. The only reason I'd have to go across country is because I literally have no other place to go.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:48 PM on May. 19, 2010

  • i think you should leave. it's not a good environment for your children if you aren't happy. happy children need happy parents. you can't kidnap your own children. you can go to your courthouse and file for a divorce and custody of your children. more than likely you will get full custody. if you do then you can say when and if he gets to see the children. i hope the best for you and your children. good luck. if you need someone to talk to i'm here.

    Answer by xavierlogan09 at 9:21 PM on May. 19, 2010

  • Wow! I'm sorry to hear you're having a tough time with your marriage. Do you have family(sisters, brothers)? Anyone who can take you in until you land on your feet? I really don't know what to tell you being that I'm on the East coast, and the agencies here that I'm aware of, I'm not sure if you guys have them over there. Can you try to stick it out until things get better financially?

    Answer by ambr2006 at 9:23 PM on May. 19, 2010

  • Yeah once a man cheat, it is the ultimate no no to me, and I cannot remain with this person, so I cannot blame you there. You have kids together and this will make it tougher because you cannot go off somewhere dragging your kids with you, the world just isn't safe out there anymore. My opinion is to try and stick it out, and I know it is tough having to be with someone you no longer care about, but where would you go with a baby and one on the way?

    Answer by ambr2006 at 9:26 PM on May. 19, 2010

  • Xavierlogan where would she go with no money? I just don't want to see a mom with a child and one on the way fleeing her home without a clue to where she is going. My suggestion is to keep saving for your ticket back home, and better yet, if you have family, call them, they may come to get you. My sister was in this situation a few years back, and she stayed with me until she saved up and moved out. Family should always be there, call and see if your family can help.

    Answer by ambr2006 at 9:30 PM on May. 19, 2010

  • OP: I have unemployment. Come to the end of this week I am cutting off the not so needed bills but will keep internet so I can buy tickets later. If I only pay my bills and not spend any money on anything else it will tke 2.5 months to safe for EVERYTHING. Divorce filing , 2 tickets and extra just in case kid gets hungry at airport. I also need to buy 4 luggage pieces so we can get at least all of our clothes and thats mainly it. I'm wanting to file for Divorce online since it is only $149 but I still have yet to talk to DH. I don't know what to do when it comes to me telling him. He is not voilent so that is not a problem. He and I share the same lawyer and so I'm worried he will run to him when I am trying to do this civil with no lawyers to save both he and I money and more heartache.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:38 PM on May. 19, 2010

  • OP: My mother is the only ONLY person I have to turn to and she is on the east coast. No where else do to go unless I use my safed up money to go to a hotel which is just wasting it since I"m trying very hard.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:39 PM on May. 19, 2010

  • Is there something your not telling us like he beats you or so on? Why do you want out so bad? Whats really going on. You sound like a woman scared for her life! Blessings...

    Answer by Daphna28 at 9:49 PM on May. 19, 2010

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