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wat would u do?

my man & i have any apartment together. Well his 16 yr old friend has no place 2 go. His parents live 3 hrs away n r dope heads & dont want 2 take care of him. So his older brother has been taking care of him until, his wife left him, N he got thrown in jail, N lives in an abandone house. we have had room mates before it wasn't good they jus stressed us out n made us fight more. anyway he wants this 16 yr. old 2 move in n us 2 be responsible people 4 him 2 look up 2, but we barley make it on our own n we have a 4 month old lil girl, n a 19 month lil boy. i jus got a better payin job tho n now i make more then him, n so he thinks we can afford 2 take care of this boy. but hes not even talkin bout let him stay a while, he wants 2 put him in school, and help him get on his feet. but its 2 yrs till he wld even turn 18 n graduate. This boy smokes weed, but my man says he is quiting. so i told him no he can pick me & the kids or the

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Mrs.Ferri

Asked by Mrs.Ferri at 7:45 PM on May. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Level 7 (182 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • Hmm, sounds like a rough situation. I personally wouldn't do it because of the children. But if you feel it would really help the boy and he promises to get clean/go to school then give it a try, say 3 months. If those 3 months go well then give it another 3 months. Would you get any compensation for him staying with you, for food etc? That's another concern, feeding a teen can be very costly!
    parrishsky

    Answer by parrishsky at 7:47 PM on May. 19, 2010

  • i think your husband needs to respect your opinion on this. as great as it would be for this kid for you to take him in, get him in school, and give him examples to look up to that are not drug addicts. i think you need to put your own family first. chances are it is going to cause a lot of trouble, and make you two fight a lot.
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 7:49 PM on May. 19, 2010

  • boy N he said thee boy. so wat do u think that means n wat wld u do?
    Mrs.Ferri

    Answer by Mrs.Ferri at 8:06 PM on May. 19, 2010

  • Personally I do not see the harm in giving a child a good steady home.. but if really you cannot afford it and he will disturb your life to the point of a divorce or harming your children then no.. but if he is willing to follow your rules and it wont break your bank.. then have a heart and help him! every once in a while people need some love and understanding... think if it was you or your family in that situation wouldnt you want someone to help you?
    icn_mom

    Answer by icn_mom at 8:09 PM on May. 19, 2010

  • WHAT?! He said he would pick the boy over his own family? THAT IS TOTALLY WRONG! I don't care if you were wrong about refusing to take the kid, for your DH to choose him over his own fam is wrong, soooooooooo wrong! If it was my husband, I would say, Ok, you got it, honey, I'll go find my own apartment now!
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 8:09 PM on May. 19, 2010

  • What would I do? I would help the kid. If I wasn't able to afford it I would look for financial help. It's amazing to me that this poor kid has lived such a life and has managed to only need two more years to graduate. That's amazing. I don't understand why opening your home to a throw away homeless kid conflicts with you having children?


    Anyhow, That's what I would do.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:13 PM on May. 19, 2010

  • I would take him in BUT, he would be required to be passing in school, pass random drug tests, have a curfew and have a weekend job.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 8:49 PM on May. 19, 2010

  • Well, if he gets a job, it might be helpful to have him around. This is a tough decision. He needs your help. Maybe you should just make very strict rules
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 8:54 PM on May. 19, 2010

  • Two kids already to feed? No, I would not even consider doing this. You guys have enough responsibilty than caring for a 16 year old, and believe me, once the boy move in, it will all be on you. I would never agree to it, and I would put my foot down on the husband. You would think he learned from past experiences by taking in roommates. It doesn't matter if you're making more money than him, what matters are your children, and they should come first. This is my opinion, but do you.
    ambr2006

    Answer by ambr2006 at 9:08 PM on May. 19, 2010

  • Go with what you feel is the right thing to do. I would try to get him into a safe environment. Is there no shelters or anything? Blessings..

    Daphna28

    Answer by Daphna28 at 9:38 PM on May. 19, 2010

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