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Do I tell my children the truth

I have two kids who had not seen their bio dad for about six years; not even a single phone call. I have a new husband and the kids adore him. A few years ago, I learned that my ex is HIV positive. My question is do I tell the kids that their dad is sick, or do I allow them to move on? My fear is that, he'll die and the kids will be upset that I didn't bother to tell them in the first place.

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rcullens

Asked by rcullens at 9:40 PM on May. 19, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 3 (4 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • yikes.
    IMO - I wouldn't say amything unless they ask.....but I can't promise that is the right answer.
    gl!
    mommymeg03

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 9:42 PM on May. 19, 2010

  • If he doesnt bother then I wouldnt bother either. Its a two way street. Dont put those children through pain that isnt neccessary. How old are they? Do they remember them? Are they old enough to know that if he cared he would call or visit?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:42 PM on May. 19, 2010

  • How old are your kids
    delilahsmom1177

    Answer by delilahsmom1177 at 9:43 PM on May. 19, 2010

  • *him
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:43 PM on May. 19, 2010

  • Don't go into detail, talk to him 1st & see if he even wants to bother w/ the kids. If he's willing to see them then let the kids decide if they wanna see him & say goodbye. W/ the new HIV drugs its no longer a guaranteed death sentance. Talk to their dad 1st about his diagnosis.
    Nyx7

    Answer by Nyx7 at 9:43 PM on May. 19, 2010

  • My daughter is 13
    My son is 11
    rcullens

    Answer by rcullens at 9:44 PM on May. 19, 2010

  • He has a while b4 he will die. if they dont know him then spare them the hurt if he does die
    Cherish050307

    Answer by Cherish050307 at 9:45 PM on May. 19, 2010

  • i would talk to him about it. see if he wants them to know.
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 9:47 PM on May. 19, 2010

  • My gut says to let them move on and tell them when he's older. You can't predict the future so either way you go, it could end up biting you in the butt. If your kids are happy why mess with a good thing?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:48 PM on May. 19, 2010

  • This is hard. With them being older, I say you tell them. Imagine if you found out your Mom knew your Dad had a potentially deadly disease, and did not tell you. You would end up the bad guy. I can say that from personal expirience. When I was 12, my Dad was given 3 months to live. My parents chose not to tell us children. I found the note from his doctor a few weeks later. I was so hurt and mad that they didn't feel I was mature enough to handle this news.

    Your situation is different since he does not see them. But I still think you should tell them, and give them the chance to attempt contact with him.
    Angel8203

    Answer by Angel8203 at 9:54 PM on May. 19, 2010

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