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How do I help my 4 yr old adjust to his new siblings?

I have a 4 yo son who is having anger and attention problems(I think). I had a baby girl when he was 2 and got pregnant immediatly after(5months) with another boy. I now have three children and my son being the oldest and the one who was around when it was just him is having problems. Examples are: He's fine by himself but as soon as one of his siblings is there he starts screaming through the house and when I tell him to be quiet he acts like he doesn't hear me. When I give him timeout for this behavior he will not stay or he acts like its not a big deal. I think he is having trouble adjusting to his new siblings but I wondered if it was an emotional problem or just a 4yo phase? We do activities with him alone as well and he still behaves this way as soon as they are around again. Any advice?

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Asked by BDRmom at 10:30 PM on May. 19, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (2)
  • He was only 2 when his first sib was born. His problems aren't because he remembers being an only child. He doesn't have emotional problems and it's not because he is 4. It's not that he needs alone time with you. The problem is you don't know effective ways of dealing with him (parenting). The problem is you, not him. Always think it's you and expect more from yourself then you do your children. You are the adult.

    Love & Limits is a good first parenting book by Elizabeth Crary. She has a website called star parenting.



    Answer by Anonymous at 10:42 PM on May. 19, 2010

  • he may just be seekg attention from you, he is 4 and testing his boundaries when he doesnt listen or doesnt respond to time out. but you must always stay fair and firm. he is competing with 2 other people for your attention

    Answer by secondtyme520 at 10:59 PM on May. 19, 2010

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