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WHY would you trust someone you met on the internet in an adoption?

I have met several PAP's who have been scammed by women claiming to be pregnant & placing a baby for adoption on this site alone. Why would someone think that the internet is a better place than an adoption agency? Is it simply to avoid high fees? Can someone explain?


Asked by Anonymous at 12:53 AM on May. 20, 2010 in Adoption

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I don't want to make it sound like a business, but essentially it is. The vast majority of pregnant women out there do not put their children up for adoption and our infertility rates are soaring through the roof. Babies are high in demand and the amount of babies available for adoption is very low. Potential adoptive parents turn to advertising to increase their chances of being successful adopting. For every baby/child an agency has available, they probably have 200 p-adoptive parents, so therefore they use alternative means in order to find a child to adopt.
    I doubt it's to avoid fees...many p-aparents spend just as much on advertising as they do at an agency. Advertising is expensive!

    Answer by LiliMama18 at 10:24 AM on May. 21, 2010

  • Lots of things can exclude you from qualifying w/ an agency. Being too old, having medical problems like diabetes, etc etc etc. Making an adoption (or surrogacy) private opens up doors for people who have no other options

    Answer by hibbingmom at 12:54 AM on May. 20, 2010

  • Desparation. They advertise on craiges list and hand out cards to pregnant waitresses. They'll risk anything for the baby they want. I feel sorry for them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:09 AM on May. 20, 2010

  • No matter where you adopt from agency, or private there is always a risk. That risk is something that is worth taking in order to be able to love a child as your own. You never know if or when a chance maybe that you will be chosen as adoptive parents. Although there may be scammers you may also find a mom who geniunely wants to chose adoptive parents.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:00 AM on May. 20, 2010

  • I met my child's birthmom here. Why is it better than an adoption agency? Because adoption agencies are unethical and charge upwards of $40,000. If you can find an adoption on your own, adoption agencies are useless. You build direct relationships- not censored ones through an agency. You share identifying information- unlike with an adoption agency. The adoption agency leaves the "relationship" as soon as they get their money anyway. So part of it is financial, and part of it is treating both parties ethically. The birthmom can really see into the lives of the adoptive parents by seeing what they do every day, see their bad days and how they react to those bad days. It allows a much more honest relationship in comparison to an adoption agency- who hardly allow the BM and AM to talk at all. With adoption agencies as the go between, they are able to lie or mislead either party and hide truth.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:47 AM on May. 20, 2010

  • I have wondered the same thing, because I see risks for everyone involved. Of course, as someone already pointed out, there are risks with adoption no matter which route you choose. I guess that connecting online can go either really well or really badly. We did look into that when we were waiting to adopt our first child, but the more I learned about the risks the more it scared me away.

    The first poster made a good point about problems qualifying with agencies. Our big problem was age limits, and when we started trying to adopt I was 30 and DH was 41. Other obstacles can be length of time married, income, health, or not being the religion that the agency wants you to be.

    I don't agree that it's always cheaper to leave the agency out of it. Our first adoption was $5,000 through an agency. If we'd done it privately and paid expenses, it would have been much more.

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 1:35 PM on May. 20, 2010

  • MONEY!!!!!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:19 PM on May. 20, 2010

  • I prefer not having an agency involved. Just like one response said you can build a personal relationship more so through a private adoption. You really don't need an agency to be the middle person.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:33 PM on May. 20, 2010

  • Just that fact that some adoptive parents have been chosen on Cafemom means there is hope. Although there maybe scammers, there is also a chance of becoming adoptive parents that is a chance worth taking.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:37 PM on May. 20, 2010


    This is why. Matches are made all of the time, cafemom has had plenty.

    Answer by SandalsKitty at 8:23 PM on May. 20, 2010