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is anyone else dating/marrid to a youner/less mature man? how do i deal when my SO isnt on my maturity level?

I am almost 3 1/2 years older than my boyfriend (of 4 years). he is almost 23, im 26. and he is a good guy, works hard, pays the bills, etc. we love each other and usually get along fine, but we can not have a constructive argument without him getting all pissy and disrespectful. i think things through a lot more than he does and if i notice something that see as a problem, like he will call my opinons stupid if he doesnt understand my point, he will try to make me agree with him and gets upset if i dont sy he is right about his opinion. he is hard to communicate with bc i "analyze" everything about our relationship and try to work on it and he thinks its a waste of time bc he has "enough" on his plate already. also before i can explain anything, he has already assumed what he thinks im going to say and gets mad at me when im thinking the opposite! do i stay and wait 4 him to grow up since hes otherwise a good man? or run?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:59 PM on May. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • Stay! But realize you reasoning skills have failed, so far, and adjust.

    Hope it works out for you :)
    Nynne

    Answer by Nynne at 10:04 PM on May. 20, 2010

  • Not to discourage you, but I think this is simply the nature of men.....my husband is 7 YEARS OLDER than I am. I'm 25 and he's 32. He's like your SO.....
    If you love him it's worth staying. Relationships and marriages are hard work.....don't think it won't take anything less than hard work to make it last :) It is a choice!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:07 PM on May. 20, 2010

  • I'm not sure age is what that has to do with those issues. Some of it is personality. Another aspect is past experiences with family, friends and intimate relationships. As the girl above said, it's the nature of men. We as women think differently than men. We are wired differently. You have to find a common balance, and that doesn't mean every day will be easy. Even my grandparents get into it from time to time. I am 7 eyars older than my hubby and in most ways we balance one another out. Everyone actually thinks we are very close in age. He is mature, but in some aspects "immature" but more like inexperience rather than maturity. Look at his family dynamics growing up and that will explain A LOT about how he communicates.
    MissHeidi0304

    Answer by MissHeidi0304 at 10:17 PM on May. 20, 2010

  • Men in general need a lot of life experience to learn how to communicate well. If he didn't have any good male role models for communication then he's got even more to work on.

    The best you can do is to try different approaches until he figures it out. Learn that some things aren't worth discussing because they are fleeting. Kindness matters.

    I personally would not tolerate dating a person who wasn't mature and capable of communicating with me. Before I met DH, I went on a lot of first dates but very very few second dates. But all women have different focuses in what they want in a partner.
    ecodani

    Answer by ecodani at 10:25 PM on May. 20, 2010

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