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What would you do if you found out your husband was a pathological liar?

So things have not been adding up. Slowly but surely I have put the puzzle together. After making a trip to a therapist and speaking with his ex wife I have figured out he has lied about 75% of his life. I am so hurt. I am ashamed. So I questioned him and he said he lies because it is easier....He then asked "Is it really lying if I don't tell to begin with?"URRRR! Then I find out he was suppose to pay for his daughters student loans and forged their names and put the loans in their names instead of his. The girls just now are finding out they have student loans to pay. A judge ordered him to take care of the loans and he still has not. I also found out he has reported false earnings....What steps do I take...I am afraid to upset him.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:23 PM on May. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • i probably wouldnt be able to stay with someone like that. i would get a divorce.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 10:27 PM on May. 20, 2010

  • It's my understand that lying is directly tied to low self-esteem. He lies because he feels bad about himself and life he actually has. You could be in serious financial trouble here. I think if I were you, I would get a lawyer and take steps toward divorce.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 10:27 PM on May. 20, 2010

  • See a lawyer.
    neebug3766

    Answer by neebug3766 at 10:28 PM on May. 20, 2010

  • i dont think i could be with someone who lies that much, and does not take responsibility.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:28 PM on May. 20, 2010

  • My first husband lied about a criminal record, forged financial documents, stole identities ... He pretended to be someone he wasn't. He even had "friends" and "family" back up some of his lies. He was a pathological liar and a career criminal before I met him. He ended up being violent so I left him, got a restraining order, and filed for divorce.

    Getting as far away as possible was my only option. I worked with the battered women's shelter and the free legal center they had there. I eventually found an attorney I could afford that way.

    I'd advise you to keep what you can to yourself. People often didn't believe me when they found out what had happened and it reflected poorly on me professionally. No one believed he burnt my house down after I filed for divorce. He told them I did it. My ex and I were colleagues and I had to separate myself from our professional circle.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:33 PM on May. 20, 2010

  • I'd be filing for divorce. You will find out then how many loans he's taken out in your name and not told you. Look up your credit report and make sure he hasn't ruined your credit. You can always divorce him and live with him if you like him that much.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:48 PM on May. 20, 2010

  • See a lawyer and start looking at your own credit history just to be on the safe side, then go from there.
    I dated a guy for some time before realizing he was a pathological liar... once I started looking into things he had lied about so much it was scary to me. When you're an honest person it's hard to comprehend and catch someone that does this, but once they slip up it's time to start digging. I would never recommend staying with a person with this issue, you'd be in for a life of unnecessary stress and heartbreak... plus if he can lie so easily about one thing, who knows where he draws the line. Protect yourself & remember that love is impossible without trust.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:19 AM on May. 21, 2010

  • Get to a lawyer. I could not stay with a man like this. He lacks integrity and ethics and he should be modeling this to his children! Why would he do that to his daughters? He could have screwed up their credit before they were even old enough to get a car or credit card.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 10:27 AM on May. 21, 2010

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