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I can not stand this 3.5 year old......REALLY HELP ME!

So, sometimes (like once a week) I sit for a friend. She pays well...she has a 10 mo old son and a almost 4 year old son. Well, the older one drives me INSANE! HE STILL WEARS PULLUPS AND DIAPERS!!! Not just when he is sleeping he 100% does NOT use the toilet. It is NASTY! I loathe cleaning **** off of him...all up his back...*SHUDDER* He does not talk good at all, only baby talk, like...he can not (or wont) answer basic yes or no questions....it is not his fault I know.....i mean if a kid walks around with a sippie cup (yes he can not even use a regular cup, AT ALL) then i guess he needs a diaper cause he pees all the time!!! omg..........its so frustrating. I want to tell her "HEY QUIT PUTTING PULLUPS ON HIM AND MAYBE HE WILL POTTY" But its none of my business right? Would you say something? It makes me frustrated............idk ugh vent and what would you do kinda thing...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:56 PM on May. 20, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • Well, unfortunately, not all kids are on the same training schedule. Sometimes it takes a child longer than another child to learn. I would say that you definitely do not need to be babysitting this child. I would hate for you to be watching one of my children knowing you felt this way about him. So, please, do a mother a favor, and let your friend know that you no longer will be babysitting her child. Really a person that feels the way you obviously do, does not ever need to be taking care of a child. (In fact, not to be mean, but you make me shudder.....)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:01 AM on May. 21, 2010

  • well by 4 you expect him to be somewhat potty trained even if he doesn't catch on right away! My son was hard to train but he only wore pll ups at night at age 4, Maybe he has a speech issue? I am not sure what I would say but as a friend I may be like hey when you going potty train this little boy?LOL My oldest is in 1st grade and we had a play datw with a mom that said her daughter she never forced to potty train or take her bottle away. She was not potty trained till almost 5! I mean OMG! Then I think she had the bottle till 4, Her baby is 2 same as my youngest and he is still on the bottle. My daughter can drink out of cups and we mostly use sippy for the car.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:02 AM on May. 21, 2010

  • do you have any books on potty training? if you do you could give them to his mom. or if you see a cheap one somewhere pick it up for her. i would talk to her about it. i would tell her he needs to start potty training atleast.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:03 AM on May. 21, 2010

  • OP- to the first response.......I am very good with her child, I do the job (even when it makes me frustrated) with a smile, I do not yell, scream or punish him when he does these things. Its not my place.....I am just wondering if I should tell his mom my concerns....because I have watched MANY children and have never seen one act like this....and no I dont think anything is mentally wrong, just that he is babied.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:06 AM on May. 21, 2010

  • Sorry, but Im with the first reply and I will add, talk to the parent asap. You may not think you are showing frustration, and putting on your happy face with the child, but look at the title of your post. That in itself speaks volumes about how you feel toward this child. This doesnt make you a bad person, or a mentally challenged person. It just means you may be in way over your head with this certain child. I know if this was my child and I read this post i would want to pull my child from your care too. Talk to the parent and voice your frustrations and concerns, maybe you both can come up with a different solution to this problem. Remember you are being paid for a service here, if you feel it is a favor at this point, then its gone too far and this child would be better off somewhere else.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:25 AM on May. 21, 2010

  • I would say something to her..but that's just me. If he isn't talking and is almost 4 that isn't normal. I would share my concern with her or maybe ask her if there is anything you can do to help potty train him. He might also act that way since he has a younger sibling and some kids regress when this happens.
    dbodani

    Answer by dbodani at 12:28 AM on May. 21, 2010

  • Since u have experience and this is the older of the kids maybe the mom just doesnt have a clue. if u r friends i would take the suggestion to mention to her when r u going to potty train this little boy?? its been my experience that if u leave the important decisions to the child u r not doing them any favors.maybe she doent know how or is just lazy?? she needs to teach him so he can hv some skill at it when its time for kindergarten. even most preschools will not take a child who is 3and half who is not potty trained. im not talking day care here, but pre-school. anyway, good luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:30 AM on May. 21, 2010

  • The not talking worries me more than the potty training....that's a developmental delay, and I think I'd expect the potty training to be behind. Is this child being seen by any kind of specialists? I think you do need to ask if he does have special needs.

    And consider that you might not be the right person to babysit this child. That happens, and it's nothing to feel badly about.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:43 AM on May. 21, 2010

  • Don't sit for the friend until the child is fully potty trained. Just let her know that. Stand your ground.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:43 AM on May. 21, 2010

  • Not all children reach milestones at the same time. If you feel you cannot handle his needs, then you neet to not babysit him. While this may be frustrating to you, imagine how this poor little boy feels. It is not his fault. You need to talk to his mom and tell her of your concerns. The pull-ups are defintely not helping. In fact, his mom needs to break him of them. If you are willing to work with this little boy then maybe you can make a difference. But it will take patience and time. Most importantly his mom needs to realize that she needs to be consistent and with the two of you working together this can work.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:26 PM on May. 21, 2010

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