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Help...my 8 year old is out of control!

He's like Dr Jekyl and Mr Hyde. One moment he is the sweetest most polite boy in the world, and then I ask him to do something he doesn't want to do or tell him no about something and it's like a switch is flipped. I'm at my wits end with him. I've tried talking to him, punishing him, time outs, groundings, taking away privledges, spanking, nothing has worked. He gets so out of control he throws things, tries to hit me, spits at me. I just don't know what to do anymore. Like tonight, he completely lost it because I told him it was time to pick up outside and get start getting ready for bed. He started telling me no, so I told him to go to his room and when he refused, I grabbed him by the arm and took him up there. He spit at me, then kicked me in the face. I tried spanking him but he is a strong little bugger and he kept kicking and fighting me and I ended up getting him across the legs by accident. Any suggestions?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:06 AM on May. 21, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (10)
  • I am exactly in your shoes. First of all I want to let you know, that you are not alone in this. Dylan is exactly as you described.

    Right now we have found that Shaving his head completely bald, has helped change his attitude.
    I have noticed if i ask his to do it instead of telling him, he is less prone to throw a fit.
    Letting him talk out his feelings seem to make him calm down a lot faster.
    And finally Alone time in his room, is a good way to get him to refocus.

    Other then that I have NO CLUE! But if you get any really good advice, that works for you, will you PM me with it. I could use some help too!!!
    MomOfDagJag

    Answer by MomOfDagJag at 1:39 AM on May. 21, 2010

  • you need to get a switch, sit him in a chair in the middle of the room, and dare him to move with the most evil look in your eye you can muster up. somewhere along the line, he lacked some serious discipline he really needed. not blaming you or bashing you, just being honest. my best friend has the same problem with her 4 year old, believe it or not, and we are close enuff to have these talks without her feeling like im attacking her, so im really not attacking you here. its satrting to come out of him now that hes older, and thinking he has the power to control you, and somewhere, he actually does. you need to correct it as soon as you can. when he throws something at you, take it away, even to the point he has nothing left in his room, maybe he will think. when he spits at you, spit at him back, and see how he likes it. under normal circumstances i would NEVER, repeat NEVER recommend these things, but it seems like you..cont
    jeanniegirl82

    Answer by jeanniegirl82 at 1:42 AM on May. 21, 2010

  • cont....have tried everything you can. its very hard to deal with. maybe like momofdagjag says you could try shaving his head, but it seems like thats as fine a line as everything i have told you as well. but the embarrassment mite help him realize what hes doing to you, and how you feel. im a firm believer children respond to something better if they know how it really feels, rather than us just preaching at them, thats why i said spit at him when he spits at you, ect. of course there is a limit with this, but if you dont get hold of it soon, he will be too bitg to handle, and then will be an out of control teenager with no respect. its like having to choose between the lesser of 2 eveils, i know. i really hope you find a way, i wish you the best of luck, and do know that you are not alone.
    jeanniegirl82

    Answer by jeanniegirl82 at 1:46 AM on May. 21, 2010

  • There are many things that could be contributing to his behavior. it might be lack of discipline or if there is discipline then you need to go to a developmental pediatrician and have him assessed. His advice will help your child deal with his own anger and inappropriate behavior. You have tried everything. It's time that you see a professional to help you with this. But first, ask his teachers for a meeting and ask them how he is like in school. How does he behave around other kids? How are his friendships?
    LavenderRose10

    Answer by LavenderRose10 at 1:49 AM on May. 21, 2010

  • I have noticed if i ask his to do it instead of telling him, he is less prone to throw a fit.
    Letting him talk out his feelings seem to make him calm down a lot faster.

    ^ I do this to stop them before they start. Never TELL him, talk to him about how it needs to be done and he could help..blah, blah..
    Discuss options and why he feels the way he feels.
    I stay in charge, but, I make him feel like he has tons of say. LOL
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 3:24 AM on May. 21, 2010

  • My daughter is the same. She was diagnosed with ODD. We are getting her some counseling to try to help her with anger management. She throws shoes at other children in school and at times is really dangerous.
    ashisamom

    Answer by ashisamom at 6:54 AM on May. 21, 2010

  • It could be an early onset of bipolar due to one minute he is nice and sweet, then he flips out.
    ambr2006

    Answer by ambr2006 at 10:27 AM on May. 21, 2010

  • I am pretty sure my Dylan also has Bipolar. No definitive diagnosis, yet. But seeing as how I am bipolar, he may very well be.
    MomOfDagJag

    Answer by MomOfDagJag at 11:32 AM on May. 21, 2010

  • My nephew was like there. Diagnosed with ADHD 18 months ago (at age 7), now he's almost 9 and a different kid. On medicine. I know everyone is not a fan of medicating children BUT talk to your pediatrician. Write down ALL his symptoms. She has a brand new kid now!
    mom23boys679

    Answer by mom23boys679 at 2:26 PM on May. 21, 2010

  • (OP) See, here's the thing, I don't think it's a mental health issue only because he only does this with me. At school he barely ever gets in trouble, and if he does its for talking. When he's with other adults he doesn't act like that (although he is starting to show his attitude a little bit to my parents...but not nearly as bad). One of my friends suggested calling the police on him next time he starts, let them scare him straight. I hate to do that, but I'm at the point where I don't know what else to do.

    BTW....MomOfDagJag, thanks for the suggestion about shaving his head, but he actually would like that lol! He has been telling me that when summer comes he wants to shave all his hair off to keep cool.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:54 PM on May. 21, 2010

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