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why should i have to keep my thoughts in my head? why cant i express myself the way i want to?

SO and i get into arguments about fictional stuff all the time! he will say something that i and he know isnt true or cant happen, and when i start asking questions(what if...etc) he gets mad bc i should just simply let it go instead of trying to be logical about it. this morning we argued about what would happen if he signed a contract with a record label, what would he do if they made him perform at a gay club since he is a homo-phobe(im all for gay ppl!) he said he would have it in a contract so he wouldnt, and i said that he wouldnt be that much control over his contract as to where he wouldnt perform, etc. he said yes i said no way, then he said he would be independant, i said ok u wouldnt need a contract, and he's all like "can you just shut up with all the blah blah blah nonsense you talk about" whats wrong with me wanting a converstaion or debate? why cant we talk things through and have a debate, he gets pissy!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:25 AM on May. 21, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (23)
  • "OP HERE - so im just supposed to let him think that what he said is right even if it isnt? then what if he goes off talking about it someone else and they are the ones who tell him he sounds like an idiot."

    His friends likley already KNOW he's an idiot. You can't save him from that.

    This isn't a matter of being submissive. It's a matter of KNOWING you're smarter and yet being smart enough to NOT get into it with him. It's truly NOT worth your energy. Men say ALL KINDS of stupid things. See my above post about the Y Chromosome Defect.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 7:52 PM on May. 21, 2010

  • A lot of people tend to get really pissy when they know they are wrong and don't want to admit it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:27 AM on May. 21, 2010

  • Are these debates that you have? Or do you simply enjoy picking little fights with him? When you have these debates, do you always want to be right? Do you not give up unless he says "you win".. This is only my opinion, but it sounds like you just want an argument and you want to be right..
    Ren_Ren

    Answer by Ren_Ren at 8:28 AM on May. 21, 2010

  • Some people just don't enjoy a good debate.They can't not get mad about it.In marriage you have to pick and choose your battles.Some are not worth having.Especially when you know nothing but bad feelings will come of it.I think you should blog online with your ideas that he doesn't want to hear.Then you and he both may feel better.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 8:32 AM on May. 21, 2010

  • OP HERE - i honestly try not to sound like im starting a fight because its certainly not my intention, and im not just trying to get him to say i am right, i just want him to back his opinions. he will say something that sounds strange and when i ask him to explain it to me, he says he shouldnt have to i should just get it and be able to read between the lines. like in the argument from above i just wanted him to really think and say what he would have done bc he wants to be a performer and a friend of his had to perform in a gay club and he said he wouldnt do it. so when i said he may not be able to get that in a contract he gets all bitchy like i should have just left the subject alone. i do want him to be able to admit he was wrong, and if im wrong i expect him to do the same with me instead of telling me that what i think is crazy or that hes not interested in what i have to say bc that is disrespectful isnt it?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:37 AM on May. 21, 2010

  • I've been married a long time.There are some subjects for us that we know we will never agree on.And we are okay with that.We agreed to disagree sometimes.You may never hear from him that apology you want.And some people will never admit being wrong.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 8:40 AM on May. 21, 2010

  • Well if you two are always arguing over fictional things, I say stop. Find something else to talk about.
    midnightmoma

    Answer by midnightmoma at 8:40 AM on May. 21, 2010

  • OP HERE - @EVELYNWEST lol thats why im on here now lol trying to get some immediate venting lol. but gosh i think would just end up resenting him for having to turn to the internet everytime i want to open my mouth. i told him yesterday in another stupid argument that i wouldnt bother him with my opinions anymore i would just send it to cafemom lol. and we only have 1 computer so he can from this day on kiss my ass about me being on the computer. i woke up this morning and cleaned everything but the dishes and the bathroom so he can leave me alone and if he wants a empty sink he can so do it himself he is off today!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:41 AM on May. 21, 2010

  • If you keep being stubborn and keep emasculating your man, you will end up divorced in under 5 years. You are being disrespectful and rude to your husband. Are these silly little "fictional" fights really worth your marriage? Stop having to be right. Stop having to prove him wrong.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:42 AM on May. 21, 2010

  • OP HERE - im honestly not tryin to pick fights of prove him wrong, i just want him to THINK!! you ask him a question and he shoots off the biggest bullshit answer he can fathom, but when you want a real opinion out of him, im trying to pick a fight. i just want him to complete a thought in his head without speaking first and spouting out whatever he can pull up. say someone calls him to come in work and he doesnt want to, instead of saying no thank you, we have to be in the car 2 hours away visiting some sick relative. im not trying to prove him wrong, i just want a good honest thoughtful answer out of him!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:48 AM on May. 21, 2010