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Daughter in talent show at school and does not want me to come

My 13 year old is in her middle school's talent show and did not even tell me she was gonna be in it and that she was selected ( I only knew because I was checking her text messages on her phone). I asked her and she said she was in it and I was not able to ask her about or talk about it. She says I make such a big deal out things and go over board I am just proud of her thats all. Should I respect her wishes and stay quiet and not go to the talent show. I did tell her that I was happy and proud of her and left it at that !!!!! Ugh what to do !!!!

 
ramajil

Asked by ramajil at 8:39 AM on May. 21, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 10 (484 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • I liked the idea that someone mentioned: go privately and write her a letter to save for when she is older.

    I almost feel the same way with my mom, and I am 26. She goes way over the top with praise, worry, etc. If the praise is too much, it feels like she NEVER EVER thought we could do something, and it is just SO AMAZING that we accomplished it. If the worry is too much, it only instills a lack of confidence, a lack of support, and increases the stress level in everyone. I love my mom, but I purposely leave her out of things, and NEVER discuss anything too personal with her because of these qualities.

    If your daughter is feeling like I do, PLEASE, try to understand where she is coming from, and realize that although you may be bursting with pride over her accomplishments, make sure that you project only confidence and support. And don't go over the top! :)
    squish

    Answer by squish at 2:41 PM on May. 22, 2010

  • Go, sit in the back and try to be quiet? You don't even have to tell her you are going.. Then afterwards you can tell her privately how proud you are..
    Ren_Ren

    Answer by Ren_Ren at 8:41 AM on May. 21, 2010

  • Not only would I go, I would go early and get a front-row seat. It is not her place to tell you what you can or cannot do, and it is not her place to withhold information from you. If you tend to over-speak, then you might need to rein that in a bit, but you should definitely be there!
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:41 AM on May. 21, 2010

  • I would go anyway.But in a nice way.Like show up and tell everyone how proud of her you are, and how you can't wait to see her perfrom.they can't make you leave then.Kill them with kindness.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 8:42 AM on May. 21, 2010

  • If she asked you not to come, then don't. Respect her wishes and maybe next time she will want you to come because you treated her like an adult and listened to her.


    I hate when they grow up and think we are an embarrassment.

    Cindy18

    Answer by Cindy18 at 8:43 AM on May. 21, 2010

  • Absolutely, go! GO! GO!
    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 8:43 AM on May. 21, 2010

  • If you are anything likely mom when I was a teenager and even now that I am a mother ( STAY HOME!!!! ) Just kin ding just leave it at that like you mention but show up just don't let her see you video tape her as well... MOM DO NOT MAKE A SEEN or she will know you were there... Try to be invisible so to speak....lol Have Fun! Try to control yourself...lol GL
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 8:52 AM on May. 21, 2010

  • I'd go to see why she didn't want me to go. Nothing would keep me away.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:57 AM on May. 21, 2010

  • Go. and if your worried that she will see you, go sit in the back. but you sould go. you should be there for an improtant moment in your daughter's life.
    eva123

    Answer by eva123 at 9:18 AM on May. 21, 2010

  • Aww.. She is super nervous & for whatever reason afraid she will let you down, or mess up by knowing you are there...
    Could you see if someone can record it for you & you can watch it together?

    No matter what... I would go, sit in the back & not say anything .... At home I would give her flowers (but not let her know I was there)... You have YEARS to tell her you seen her awesome performance.. Right now as a teen she is full of insecurities & just needs her space.. When she is an adult, maybe with a child of her own she will understand & will be amazingly touched by the moment..
    (I know its a freakish thought, But Id also write a letter to daughter about it & put it in my closet or somewhere she wont find, that way just incase something happens to you.. she will learn your secret & be glad you did it!)
    MommaTasha1003

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 9:23 AM on May. 21, 2010

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