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Threatening to take away dinner for not behaving?!?!

How could you justify this?? I read this as an answer to a previous question about discipline. How could you take away a child's dinner or any meal because they were not behaving. You should NEVER use food to make your child behave!

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Asked by imamommmmyyy at 4:16 PM on May. 21, 2010 in Just for Fun

Level 7 (172 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • I think that is HORRIBLE!! I would never keep food from my children. Sad!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:19 PM on May. 21, 2010

  • I don't know. We don't use food as a bargaining chip here. We don't use affection either. That makes me just as angry, when some one tells Kiwi "give me a hug or I'll cry". What the hell? Threatening tears, or meals, snacks, affection just to get the kid to do something? I don't like it. When someone tells Kiwi that, she just says now, "okay. Want a tissue?" I've told her never to accept that from anyone, either with affection or food.

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 4:20 PM on May. 21, 2010

  • My mom did it all of the time and when people said I was fat it does not work. You just teach a child how to be a horder. The punishments went on for days with my mom sometimes four or five days. No this does not work.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 4:20 PM on May. 21, 2010

  • Taking away or withholding food is not discipline its child abuse.


    Answer by laciD at 4:23 PM on May. 21, 2010

  • dinner no but dessert ....i will do bet you bottom dollar....if they act up the will have no dessert....but they will be fed what ever is for dinner that night...i am also good at taking if they refuse to clean up..i will give them umfteen chances then mommy gets a trash bag and "cleans" the toys for them. then they go into my closet until they earn them back....we also have time outs but those dont work too well it just makes my kids more mad and i end up having to hold them there..or stand there right behind them until time is up....

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:24 PM on May. 21, 2010

  • I could only see dessert being taken away. I always thought that was wrong. My foster mother use to this thing where if we were going out for dinner that night and one of the kids were bad they had to watch everyone else eat at the restaurant the only thing they were allowed to have there was water and then they could eat sandwich when they got home.

    What is funny is she knew it was wrong because if the kid told the waiter no i'm not allowed to get anything here i'm in trouble she would get really pissed.

    Answer by mrsbean08 at 4:42 PM on May. 21, 2010

  • I would never do that, but like the pp said I would take away treats.

    Answer by Mom2princessq at 4:42 PM on May. 21, 2010

  • our pediatrician advised my DH and I in regards to our son that there comes a point where you simply might have to end a child's day early. if they're so angry, overtired, unreasonable, etc that you can no longer parent them, just end their day and try again the next. If this occurs at 6pm and they end up going to bed w/ out dinner, so be it. Sometimes sleep may be more important and there's nothing wrong with this as long as there's no nutritional deficits or medical issues that would interfere.

    We tried it once about 5 or 6 weeks ago. He was tormenting his sister and wouldn't sit for time outs, etc etc. He was so upset that he wouldn't reason or negotiate or talk about his feelings. It was 7:15 or so, corn on the cob and chicken was on the grill. He went to bed and had a those things for lunch the next day. Now when I mention the prospect of going to bed early, he is more inclined to listen and modify his choices.

    Answer by hibbingmom at 5:07 PM on May. 21, 2010

  • It's not taking away food or child abuse. It's 1 missed meal because the discipline interfered w/ dinner.

    It's not the same as if your son was a star track athlete who ran 5 miles a day and burns every calorie he eats

    or a 15 yr old girl struggling with electrolye imbalances from bulimia

    I personally think dessert withholding is cruel and psychologically damaging... we don't do that anymore. Dessert is a group/team effort. If 1 kid loses dessert, they lose it for their sibling as well. I remember once my son got a slice of a neighbors birthday cake and my daughter had lost hers for standing in her chair on 1 foot after several warnings to stop. She had to smell the cake, hear her brother talking about how tasty it was and listen to his exagerated smacking of the lips, etc. She was humiliated by that and I'd never ever do that again. That feels cruel and abusive IMO.

    Answer by hibbingmom at 5:12 PM on May. 21, 2010

  • mrsbean08 : I've done a lot of college reading on that subject. Likely the kids who that happened to a lot now have severe aversions to sandwiches! Substituting foods like that is what causes trauma, eating disorders, emotional issues and hoarding of food. Also being a picky eater to the extent that it effects your social life and overall quality of life

    Answer by hibbingmom at 5:14 PM on May. 21, 2010

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