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What would you do. (living at home still)

I cant work because of anxiety. My DH does work but brings home $400 wk. We have 2yoDD. My mom wants us to live with her. She doesnt want to live alone. We live here rent free. I feel bad, but she wants us here. I want us to have our own place so bad it hurts. But How in this situation. I feel like my life is a joke!
In Highschool I could have chosen any college. Done anything. How did this happen!? I am so damn lost!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:12 PM on May. 21, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • You need to be in therapy; you must recover from your anxiety and live a normal life.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:02 AM on May. 22, 2010

  • We only have a car note/ car insurance. We try to save money but then its holiday season, or birthdays, and all our saving withers away.
    My anxiety-- We dont have the money for me to see a therapist. I could see a dr & be drugged but thats not what I need. I need a job to afford a therapist, but I cant handle having a job until i work through anxiety!
    I love love love being a SAHM. But I could be going to college now. working on the weekends or something.. life is just passing by!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:15 PM on May. 21, 2010

  • I think if you want to live on your own then you should. If you really cant leave your mother, pay her some rent. Even just a few hundred dollars is a contribution and better than nothing. It happened because you let yourself get stuck in this situation. Now its going to be harder to get out of it but you CAN do it.
    Aqua_Jen

    Answer by Aqua_Jen at 9:16 PM on May. 21, 2010

  • Maybe your mother is in a way asking you to live with her because she is afraid of living alone and needs your help but isn't asking right now. If you have no bills really, save some money when and if you can, and stay there. I am not saying stay there out of laziness but look at it a different way. I live with my grandmother not because I can't live on my own but because I choose to stay here to help her out. Now she needs it badly but when I first started living here it wasn't out of necessity. She was afraid to live alone. And my contribution was to keep her safe feeling and help out around the house. Mind you in other cultures, extended living at home is perfectly acceptable especially if you are doing a lot foe the people you are living with.
    kuriequinn

    Answer by kuriequinn at 9:39 PM on May. 21, 2010

  • if you move back home, it'll make your anxiety worse. I promise. It could even compromise your marriage.

    Stay on your own. Focus every free minute you have to finding a new doctor even if it's 10 towns away who can get you on the right cocktail of medicines to get you productive and contributing again. In the meantime get a home job, nanny job etc etc etc

    If something happens to your husband like injury or loses his job his unemployment would be like, what... $140 a wk? That would either end your marriage or set you up for an unfufilling life of welfare and food stamps. And then you'll never feel good about yourself again and have the respect and confidence to work.

    Fix this, quickly and DON'T move with your Mom.
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 10:23 PM on May. 21, 2010

  • If your anxiety is TRULY TRULY TRULY sooooo bad that you literally cannot even flip burgers or watch another 2 yr old during the day, you need to be on disability. You'd get at least $1000, bare min. plus medicare for seeing a therapist.

    There are therapists on sliding scales.... if you can only pay $5, then that is what u pay them.

    If your husband truly only brings in $1200 a month, there's simply no way you're without medical assistance.

    If your family is struggling right now because you cannot have a PT job and/or attend college classes, how on earth do you expect to not require some medication? I think that's entirely unrealistic.
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 10:26 PM on May. 21, 2010

  • Take this opportunity to finish college and make a plan to live on your own. Then you can help your mom take in a roommate. There are other women who don't want to live alone and would like to share expenses. Some even travel together and see what life has to offer them.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:39 PM on May. 21, 2010

  • OP HERE--To clear things up We Live at her house. We have never been on our own. We dated in highschool. He moved in. Life started going. A few years went by. we accidentally got pregnant. My mom DOES want us here. She is afraid to live alone- she wont right out tell anyone, but I know!
    Living with mom would be fine, if we had a bigger home & if we had some of our own space. we dont get along well. she wants to bring in bad food- i dont want my kid drinking soda w/ dinner. Im trying to lose weight, but i have to make food she enjoys which is high fat/white breads stuff.. I keep the house clean. Dinner. I do babysit, but my mom smokes so its not like i can start a lil' daycare. I dont want my kid breathing it in!
    Anxiety- its stomach issues. I worked for 6mo until i couldnt handle it. i barely handle dinner out w/ family Ive been to 2 drs. they focused on the physical. stomach hurting!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:07 PM on May. 21, 2010