Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Letter to ex about moving - what do you think?

Long story short - I filed papers to move and ex is not happy. I am moving back to my hometown where my fiance lives along with my entire family. Ex just took me to court to get more parenting time but was denied bc it was not in the best interest of our DD. Now his attorney calls today and says I need to meet him and the attorney to discuss a new parenting plan or else they will be taking me to court (I'm used to threats - they don't scare me.) So this is a letter I wrote (rough draft)

Dear ---,
I understand that you have concerns about our parenting time schedule when I move to --- next month. Right now we reside 15 miles apart (approx 23 min.) but come July it will be 32 miles (42 min.) I realize that you will spend an extra 19 minutes driving to pick up ---. In order for you to lose no parenting time with --- it is my suggestion that we change the times of pick up from 6:00 on your Fridays to 5:30 and on your Tuesdays

Answer Question
 
plas221

Asked by plas221 at 12:02 AM on May. 22, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • sounds reasonable...it's not like you are trying to cut his time shorter or anything. I don't think that any judge would argue with the change.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 12:04 AM on May. 22, 2010

  • 32 miles? oh puleeze... your ex is a jerk! Before I read that part of how far you were actually moving, I thought you were going to say that you were moving *hours* away! Not Minutes!

    Your letter sounds fine to me.
    VeronicaLee

    Answer by VeronicaLee at 12:06 AM on May. 22, 2010

  • from 5:30 to 5:00. This additional time will ensure that you miss no parenting time with ---. Also if you are concerned with --- being in the car too long on your Tuesday visits, you may want to consider spending your parenting time near her residence. There are plenty of restaurants, parks, etc. within a few miles. Please respond with your thoughts.

    I haven't sent letter yet, I am waiting to talk to my attorney who unfortunately has been having medical issues so I haven't gotten much legal advice lately. I'm just so frustrated becuase ex is acting like I am moving across the country. The bottom line is he is jealous of my new life, for once in my life I am HAPPY! I'm not taking our DD away from her father, I'm moving to better both of our lives.

    As far as ex's solution - he wants every other tues night until wed night and every other wed night until thurs night. So basically 24 extra hrs/wk. A few probs; he has to put
    plas221

    Answer by plas221 at 12:09 AM on May. 22, 2010

  • daughter in daycare in the summer and he is totally forgetting she starts SCHOOL this year! He is complaning about driving extra yet he would have to take her and pick up from school! Ughhh I am just so frustrated!
    plas221

    Answer by plas221 at 12:11 AM on May. 22, 2010

  • Do you think the fact we went to court just 2 months ago will have any impact on the judge changing the schedule? (Judge was very unhappy with ex for dragging the last matter to court, I think that is why this time attorney is trying to settle outside of court.)
    plas221

    Answer by plas221 at 12:14 AM on May. 22, 2010

  • Sounds like he's scared to take you to court, my ex threatens me all the time. I've learned to just let it go in one ear and out the other
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:25 AM on May. 22, 2010

  • I would leave this whole sentence out "Also if you are concerned with --- being in the car too long on your Tuesday visits, you may want to consider spending your parenting time near her residence. There are plenty of restaurants, parks, etc. within a few miles".  That can be taken as you being "catty", and it sounds like a jab taken at him from an emotional place for you. I understand you wanting to jab a little, but it probably is best to just leave the basics in the formal letter. It will make you sound far more mature about the situation than he is.


    Other than the above sentance, I think your letter sounds great, and your solution to the extra 18 minutes is very reasonable!! Best of luck to you. I don't think your ex has a leg to stand on.

    VeronicaLee

    Answer by VeronicaLee at 12:48 AM on May. 22, 2010

  • wow I mean you are not moving that far! I think your letter is good. Its too the point and you give him that extra parenting time. That is reasonable and fair:) he just wants to be a jerk!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:09 PM on May. 22, 2010

  • It's not that far. If you were moving further away, I wouldn't agree with it. I agree with the other poster about removing those 2 sentences.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:34 AM on May. 23, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.