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impossible to find common ground with BF's friends

BF used to live with a few of his friends- always threw parties, etc. so it was easier to hang out with them b/c i would have the option of either leaving or going to BF's bedroom. Bf moved back in with his parents, and the new hangout spot is at another guy's house. i have social anxiety, but even without that, i dont think i like his friends. i've been with him for almost 2 years. i only know that the majority either cheats on their GFs, is only into partying, video games and going to the bars. not interested in ANY of that. the other "young mom" of the group is 25- i'm 21. she never has her DD. i have DS 24/7 so even if i did like them, it'd be hard to get out to do their things b/c of DS... and they wouldnt enjoy doing things i do with DS- zoo, water fountains, park.

i mean, i go MONTHS without seeing BF's friends, but they kinda complain about it to him. last time i seen most of them was in Aug 09.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:05 AM on May. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Who exactly are you dating, him or his friends? If he has no problem with your relationship, then I wouldn't worry about it...however, if they are talking crap about you and he isn't telling them to stop, then there's a problem.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 12:08 AM on May. 22, 2010

  • even the girl with the kid- i dont like her. i hate her parenting style (soda at 9 months old, yells at the baby for just crying at that age, passing the baby off to whoever will take her). so its not like i will want to meet with her and her DD.

    what do i do? BF's closest friends, the last time I seen them was when Iron Man 2 came out (we went to the movies) but before that, it was in Nov/Dec for a friend's bday- we went to the bars.

    how do i find common ground with people that 1) i usually dont prefer to hang out with, and 2) i rarely see anyways?

    my BF doesnt mind me not going out- he understands that DS is my #1.. we do things together; park, zoo, pool, etc so its not like i dont get out with my BF.. its just his friends.

    should i go out more often? like make it so where i go out at least once or twice a month? i dont know if i can find the middle ground, i guess- i want to go out, but i want to stay home/with DS.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:09 AM on May. 22, 2010

  • Have you tried meeting other Moms who have children the same age as you do and who are more into family and share your common interests as well as have BF's or spouses who are into other things than what your BF's friends have interest in?


    Answer by virginiamama71 at 12:09 AM on May. 22, 2010

  • So are you worried that they dont get to see you? invite everyone over for a cookout.

    Answer by txdaniella at 12:09 AM on May. 22, 2010

  • i know i'm not dating his friends.. but i'm also thinking long term here- i know how my BF is; he loves having his friends over, so if we were to move in together, his friends will be there on occasion- i'd have to deal with them at that point too.. but i dont want to go into it, not liking/knowing his friends.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:11 AM on May. 22, 2010

  • i've trying joining mom groups- on here, meetup, even on craigslist- asking if anyone wants to get their kids together at a local park or whatever, and i dont get any replies. i have bad social anxiety- and the winter made it worse (not being able to go out, etc), and i'll admit- i have no friends, whatsoever.

    i live with my dad, so i cant really do a cookout. my dad is VERY private. even as children, we werent allowed to have friends come over. its kind of stuck with me through the years- i think from the lack of friends in my childhood is what makes it so hard to make friends nowadays.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:14 AM on May. 22, 2010

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