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I have a problem saying no to my son who's 5 so everytime we go somewhere I find myself buying something just to shut him up,what method can I use to not give in everytime he tantrums out when I say no to him because I'm spending unnecessary money on stuff he just going to break in less than two hours?

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Asked by mommys1luv at 1:05 PM on May. 22, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 7 (162 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • First, befor you leave the house. You tell him, he is not going to get anything today. Then when you get to the store and he asks and starts having fits. Just tell him I already told you NO. And walk away.

    Answer by louise2 at 1:14 PM on May. 22, 2010

  • louise2 is right. He may have a fit, but don't give in. It will only take a few times and he will get it that you are the boss!

    Answer by zetta816 at 1:18 PM on May. 22, 2010

  • Good suggestion! Tantrums don't work if you don't give in to them. Kids will stop having them.

    Minimize shopping. Don't take him with you. Don't go anywhere near anything he would want. At the grocery store give him a certain amount he can spend with veto power. I would let each of my kids get like $3 worth of food for them and it couldn't be candy or bad for you things. They would keep busy looking for things they wanted and looking at how much they cost. Sometimes they would put their money together to get something bigger like a ham.  



    Answer by Gailll at 1:21 PM on May. 22, 2010

  • oh boy. at 5, well...I say. let him have a fit :) I know easier said than done but you are hurting him by getting him everything he wants. Life doesnt work that way and when he is an adult and depressed b/c he can not afford everything his heart desires he will be miserable.

    Stop this now before it gets wayyyy out of control and you have a child who expects the world handed to him on a silver plater.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:21 PM on May. 22, 2010

  • walk away. I guarantee you that he will see you leaving and follow

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:36 PM on May. 22, 2010

  • Just let him cry! I have no pity for my kids if they are crying JUST BECAUSE they can't get a toy! boo hoo...They get plenty of stuff so if they did this it would just make me never want to get them anything! You need to have a strict policy on no toys unless its a special occasion or something you agreed upon. Let him know the rules he is 5 and well aware and able to comprehend them. Tell him if he cries it will be that much longer before he gets anything. He may be stubborn if you always give in so at first expect a battle! BUT you are the parent stay strong!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:38 PM on May. 22, 2010

  • Well it seems everyone else is a little harsh but I normally say "Not Today" and it seems to work well for my 5yo DS or I compromise and say he can get whatever he wants(within reason) but he either has to EARN IT and/or get Rid Of a few things through Donation seems to work well for our household it's not foolproof but works for us. ;) Good Luck!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:51 PM on May. 22, 2010

  • I lay out the rules before I take my girls shopping with me. I tell them that I have a list of what we need, and that we are not buying anything that we don't need. If they see something that they want, we make note of it and think about how they will earn it--either by getting rid of something that they no longer play with, or by helping around the house a little more. Unfortunately, you've already set a precedence with your son, so it will take some time for him to get used to the idea, and you'll probably have to deal with a few tantrums. Just be sure not to give in to them. Remember--you're not the only parent to have a child throw a tantrum in a public place. We all get through it. :-)


    Answer by jsbenkert at 2:53 PM on May. 22, 2010

  • Just stop buying him stuff. I generally don't buy our kids stuff when we are at the store. If you just don't buy them stuff, they don't expect it. Yes, there will be some adjustment period of NOT buying him stuff, but he'll get over it. Just whatever you do, don't start back in again once he has accepted his not getting stuff. You will just be right back to square one.

    Answer by karamille at 3:13 PM on May. 22, 2010

  • Tell him before you go he's not getting a toy, and stick with it. Don't buy him a toy, most especially if he pitches a fit. You don't reward tantrums.

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 4:02 PM on May. 22, 2010

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