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Does anyone else have a mil that completely over does it?

My mil is constantly buying clothes, dresses, shoes, purses, fancy gloves and hats, hair accessories etc. for my daughter. While I appreciate it, I think the money could be much better spent or put into a savings for her. My daughter is 22 months and has over 75 fancy dresses, like could wear to a wedding fancy. She currently has 32 pairs of shoes. She has like 10 fancy purses, 14 fancy hats (multiples that are almost identical, but just a little different), more hair accessories than any one person needs in a lifetime! (like 3 grocery bags worth) Her clothes are taking up her closet, the guest room closet and have spilled in my closet and my husband's closet. My friends don't understand when I vent about this saying that I should be glad and whatnot. Not only is it stressful trying to make sure that she wears everything, I feel as though she has to have pics in every outfit, but I have run out of storage space!

 
BridgetC140

Asked by BridgetC140 at 3:39 PM on May. 22, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 29 (37,888 Credits)
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Answers (11)
  • yup!! DD is my MIL's first grandchild, dh is an only child. And she is a complusive shopper anyways. Before we even knew what sex dd was she was going to yardsales and buying BAGS of clothes, boys and girls just because... DD is 5 months old and has 20 pairs of shoes, most of them over size 2. I have an entire tub of clothes that are size 24 mos and up. It is annoying. esp. after dd was born, I lost my job and we got in a tough spot. All of our utilities were on disconnect and everything. and instead of helping us pay bills or getting groceries she would do stuff like buy us a remote control charger for the wii... Tell her no all the time it just doesn't work. But if your MIL is like mine, she forgets half of the stuff she buys. I just put most of it up for a whiel, then I get rid of it. she never even notices. :)
    jedwards2009

    Answer by jedwards2009 at 10:51 AM on May. 23, 2010

  • My mom used to do that. Just teach your child to say thanks, and grin and bear it. She probably likes to buy stuff that she thinks your daughter will like. Does she like the dresses? I know Kiwi would love a fancy dress for everyday! I wouldn't worry about the pictures with everything. Just pick a few of the cutest and take her picture in that when she wears it.
    Kiwismommy19

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 3:52 PM on May. 22, 2010

  • I don't dress in her those dresses unless we're going somewhere. She goes to church with her grandparents every Sat. morning, so she gets dressed up then. I honestly think mil just likes to dress her up and show her off at church. Most of the time, she cries when she is getting her ready, so I don't think she's a big fan of the dresses. Let's be honest, those dresses are not very comfortable. I dress her in regular clothes around the house. I don't need her to look like a porcelain doll here at home for me, especially if she is uncomfortable. When we leave the house, I will put her in a nice outfit and do her hair, but I don't put a ball gown on her....to run errands or go shopping??? nope. It's silly really. She has probably spent close to $1000 if not more on my daughter's clothes and she isn't even 2. I really don't buy her clothes anymore, because it seems like a waste of money at this point.
    BridgetC140

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 4:03 PM on May. 22, 2010

  • she will learn one your dd has outgrown those clothes and still has 20 in the closet with the tags still on it. shes just excited about the baby and while its annoying just be glad its clothes that shes pushy about and not your parenting or anything
    secondtyme520

    Answer by secondtyme520 at 4:25 PM on May. 22, 2010

  • Have you tried telling your MIL that your daughter really isn't comfy in the clothes? I personally have a real girlie-girl, so she would love a "ball gown" daily. Even for the house. I don't get the whole prissy dress thing myself. I'm more likely to do jeans, and that's how I dressed Kiwi until she was old enough to pick out her own clothes at around 2. My mom's neighbor's MIL used to do the same as yours, and now they are just selling and giving away the several hundred dollar dresses, most w/tags, that their daughter just wouldn't wear. I think if you mention that your daughter doesn't like them and she still gets them, just let her and don't make your kid wear them. If she says anything, just point out that you've said your daughter doesn't like them and they are uncomfy. Or have your husband say all this if he can since it's his mom.
    Kiwismommy19

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 4:29 PM on May. 22, 2010

  • Sell them to a consignment store if your MIL doesn't get that she is over-doing it. That way you can get money from something you didn't even spend money on. Seriously, or sell them on ebay! Or take them back to the stores that she bought them from and buy her clothes that she can be comfortable in. If she has that many clothes your MIL may not even notice.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:04 PM on May. 22, 2010

  • I would say something along the lines of, "I love all the cute clothes and accessories you buy for Jane, but I have to be honest, that she just doesn't need so many dresses, purses, etc. I would really appreciate if instead of buying her a new outfit, you'd put that amount of money into her college fund. Dresses will only last her a few months, but a college degree will help her for life."
    Christina807

    Answer by Christina807 at 6:25 PM on May. 22, 2010

  • My MIL didn't wanna listen when I told her that I didn't care to dress my dd in pink. When I was still pregnant the 1st outfit she bought for my dd was pink & I'm talkin pepto pink! I shipped it to a friend of mine that had just had twins & informed my MIL I'd done so, I kept the other outfits she'd purchased @ the same time. That was all I had to say, now she gives me the $$ to get what dd will actually wear. I know its bitchy but it puts an end to it!
    Nyx7

    Answer by Nyx7 at 6:58 PM on May. 22, 2010

  • yeah I do not have this issue. I am lucky if she gets my kids a few outfits a yr!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:01 PM on May. 22, 2010

  • My mom does that but I do appreciate it. Say to her, "I love the adorable outfits you buy but I have a great idea. Why don't you buy one a month and spend the extra money on a beautiful outfit for yourself and we'll go get your portraits done together each month" That way they can have a fun dress up bonding day as grandmother and child, she saves money and she also has awesome photos to show off to her friends.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:50 PM on May. 22, 2010

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