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getting him to love my 'muffin' (TMI)

So about the 5th time my s.o. went down on me, i kinda told him he needs more practice. I was half joking like, oh you need more practice get back down there, and well half not because he hasnt dont it much and does/did need more practice. Well now when ever i bring it up, cuz while he may not be amazing i still want it! He tells me "i 'broke' his confidence. . . yadayada, tells me i told him he SUCKS!" So im pissed, like i love him i could live without it but i know he is using it as an excuse! I dont want to say "i do it for you all the time so i should get some in return" because i dont give him head expecting head, i do it because i like to and want to make him happy. (mostly because i like to) but i wish he wanted to, he says he used to like to but i 'broke his confidence'. ARGH! I just want some and dont know how to make him see that he is hurting my feelings now by being like this for almost 2 years!

Answer Question
 
smilelovesmile

Asked by smilelovesmile at 3:18 AM on May. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Level 11 (526 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • stop giving him head.Tell him that by not pleasing you in that way... it made you feel like he's not attracted to you anymore.. therefore you have no desire to give him head... because it makes you think about the whole thing... then you start to feel unattractive again. What he is doing is being passive aggressive. He likes getting head... but I think he never really liked licking snatch. SO he is using what you said against you to get all of what he wants. Which is head... without having to return the favor. If what I first suggested don't work, then ask him if he every liked licking you snatch in the first place and if not is he using what you said against you so he don't have to.

    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 3:27 AM on May. 23, 2010

  • The whole thing about not giving him head is that I like to do it, but i do believe he is using it against me. I think when he gets back from hunting with his cousins we will have a talk anbd maybe i will have to stop giving him head. (ALthough that will piss me off even more that now i dont get two things i like) but he may need the extra incentive lol
    smilelovesmile

    Answer by smilelovesmile at 3:32 AM on May. 23, 2010

  • I know.. I'm sorry hun. Sometimes we just have to self sacrifice. I wish you the greatest luck. YOU deserve every bit of pleasure.

    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 3:46 AM on May. 23, 2010

  • Have you considered making a game of it? Like "to the left, to the left, to the right, to the right, stay there, stay there?" I think most men are not used to "perfecting or personalizing" their techniques because a lot of their past women never spoke up! Or when you're doing him, have you joked with him about "this is mine and I will talk only to the microphone?" I don't believe that denying him head is the answer and agree that this will just piss him off. The message you're trying to get across becomes blurred that way. This is not about gifts or punishments. This should be about deepening the intimacy in your relationship. Go for it and take him, girl! Best wishes.....
    Ewadun

    Answer by Ewadun at 5:36 AM on May. 23, 2010

  • tell him to watch some porn! my SO SUCKED in doing that- i mean, he'd just lick it with the tip of his tongue for a few seconds/minutes and he was done- didnt give me any satisfaction at all... either he knew he sucked, or he knew how much i didnt like it (it never really gave me any satisfaction before anyways), so he started looking up porn of guys doing it- looking up tips online, etc. he's a changed man! not only can he make me cum, he makes me squirt at times too.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:27 AM on May. 23, 2010

  • lol! i have tried to talk to him about it before, but i always want to say "i give you head all the damn time, when is it MY turn" but i just bite my tounge because thats not how i feel, but i feel like its the only explanation he will understand. As for cutting him off, he gets head like 3 times a day, seriously, and thats on top of sex. So maybe cutting back a little wont hurt or even staying too busy for a few days may just click it in his head, i will in no way be depriving him for weeks on end. But if this talk doesnt go as planned i need to have a back up. As for watching porn, he is weirdly conservative and will not watch porn, not even with me. He stopped masturbating the day we met. . . i made him wait like 6-8 months b4 we did anything sex wise, he got head b4 that. I dunno he makes me cum and squirt in bed with his hands but i want him to taste it! not just feel it. Well the talk will happen tonight!
    smilelovesmile

    Answer by smilelovesmile at 10:13 AM on May. 23, 2010

  • Hasn't he ever heard of getting back on the horse?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:15 AM on May. 23, 2010

  • I think he is being a jerk saying "oh since you hurt my feelings I won't do it anymore'-- that is so childish! He needs to 'man up' and realize that something in his performance was lacking and he needs to experiment more and figure out how to make it good for you. Hmmmm maybe you should give him half-hearted head and say "see this is how it feels when you do it to me. It feels like something is missing and really is not that pleasureable is it? "---- and then give him your best and say 'see how great this feels? I wish you would give it to me and figure out how to do it so it drives me wild"
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:28 PM on May. 23, 2010

  • yeah, cuz all Men are reasonable right?


    Have you considered making a game of it? Like "to the left, to the left, to the right, to the right, stay there, stay there?" I think most men are not used to "perfecting or personalizing" their techniques because a lot of their past women never spoke up! Or when you're doing him, have you joked with him about "this is mine and I will talk only to the microphone?" I don't believe that denying him head is the answer and agree that this will just piss him off. The message you're trying to get across becomes blurred that way. This is not about gifts or punishments. This should be about deepening the intimacy in your relationship. Go for it and take him, girl! Best wishes.....

    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 3:00 PM on May. 23, 2010

  • I told my x to stay there until he got it right! He didn't take it personally. Men normally like the challenge. Throw him down, sit on his face and tell him what you want him to do. He can't know what you like until you tell him.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:08 PM on May. 23, 2010

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