Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My daughter is getting married we are divorced she has lived with him 5 years

I guss I want to tell you that I just want to do the right thing my daughter makes around 50,000 per year and her boy friend makes maybe the same. I divorced and I am layed off her father has gave her 1,200 towards the wedding.I cant stand her husbandband . what are my obligations? I do not have money to pay for this wedding I have made her a home-made quilt I threw-her a shower that was250.00 and I am in charge of making around 200 sugar cookies this is not the most happy event for me. I dont now where to start two years ago her boy friend and her were fighting and and i called him and cant rember everything that was said but he was rude to me and I was rude to him since then I appologized.he then would show up to family events and sulk the hole time he was there. I let this kid live with me rent free for over 8 months. When I was moving I asked, for his help did'nt get it.

Answer Question
 
marie3179

Asked by marie3179 at 9:06 PM on May. 23, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • You are under no obligation what so ever. She is a big girl, has a job, let her take care of it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:11 PM on May. 23, 2010

  • Home made quilt and 200 surgar cookies is more than I ever got.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:14 PM on May. 23, 2010

  • I think your only obligation is to try your hardest to make piece with her husband to be (I know you've already apologized for the argument you had). I don't think there's really a financial obligation on you, just try to be happy for her and put your own pride aside.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:14 PM on May. 23, 2010

  • your help in the wedding may be more important to her than your money anyway, so just be as helpful as possible without being over bearing.
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 9:16 PM on May. 23, 2010

  • My dd is getting married and I'm not even doing the cookies. I MIGHT show up at the wedding depending on the date. They are moving to another state and getting married there. Traveling is not easy for me. They have lived together for 11 yrs and they don't need anything. She already bought everything for her wedding. As far as obligation, you are not obligated to do anything. Dad paid a nice chunk. If they can't have a wedding on that and what they make then they need to elope.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:17 PM on May. 23, 2010

  • Home made quilt and 200 surgar cookies is more than I ever got.

    same here... I think my mom gave us 20 bucks...
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 9:47 PM on May. 23, 2010

  • parents have no obligation to pay for a wedding and if you don't mind possibly having a crappy relationship with your daughter no obligation to make peace with her choice of husband.
    bandrplus2

    Answer by bandrplus2 at 4:27 AM on May. 24, 2010

  • Parents don't have to pay for the wedding. GEEZ!

    And I think that you are just so unhappy about her upcoming marriage because yours failed. Get over it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:34 AM on May. 24, 2010

  • Tell her you can't help her monetarily, but offer to help and ask what she needs you to do.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 12:08 PM on May. 24, 2010

  • Parents are under NO obligation to pay for the wedding. It sounds like you and your ex already helped them out with wedding preparations - -him giving some $ and you making that many cookies and giving her shower. They are adults, they already live together they both work so they should be paying for their own wedding.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:27 PM on May. 28, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.