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I think something odd is going on with my brother's g/f but he refuses to look at the situation...

My brother, who is 23, has been with his 21 year old girlfriend for 3 years. They recently bought a house together and have a 1 year old son. My brother has been a wonderful boyfriend to her - he even supported her when she went to school so she wouldn't have to juggle a job and school work and since their son was born his girlfriend decided to become a stay at home mom. Honestly I respect my brother's choice of a partner but she has always seemed rather cold to me, my other siblings agree. During her pregnancy and after my nephew was born she reconnected with her family but always insisted my brother not go with her for visits. He hasn't seen her family since before she was pregnant, but he said they never seemed to have a problem with him. I even asked his g/f why he never went with her and she simply said her family doesn't like him...

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:13 AM on May. 24, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • ... My brother is a good guy. He has a good job, a college degree, he's a wonderful father. He's not abusive or neglectful to his g/f in any way and frankly its started to piss me off how this chick is treating my brother. He has never in his life been a push over or allowed anyone to treat him like dirt so my only conclusion is that he's afraid she'll try to take his son away from him. I ran into his g/f sister and she said she didn't realize her sis and my brother were still together! So either his g/f told her family they broke up or she just doesn't mention him at all. I tried talking to my brother, he deserves someone so much better, but he refuses to see the problem because he doesn't want a lengthy court battle over his son. What can I do, what can I say, to help my brother?

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:16 AM on May. 24, 2010

  • it's sad. if her own sister didnt realize the were still together than wow, she probably told them she's a single mom and tey broke up. if your brother isnt upset with the situation then there's nothing you can do. all you will do is causehim to be upset with you. ask your brothers's g/f wh she doesnt want him to go with her? does he ask to go with her? hmm they eiether dont like your brother or she is embarassed of him maybe? idk but i feel bad for yourbrother:(

    Answer by mywonderyears at 1:21 AM on May. 24, 2010

  • Mind your own.You can only help someone that wants to be helped,And obviously he doesnt want to..

    Answer by mommy16love at 1:26 AM on May. 24, 2010

  • maybe she is taking advantage of his kindness and maybe that baby is not his idk GL one day it will all come out in the wash

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:04 AM on May. 24, 2010

  • Maybe her family doesn't agree with her living with a guy she isn't married to and it is easier to just avoid any issues than to put it in thier face all the time. Maybe they just don't like him regardless of how much we like someone not everyone will like them.Who knows but if the only "problem" in thier relationship is that he isn't involved with her family then they have a lot less problems than most and if he doesn't seem to be bothered by it leave him alone. Did he say he didn't want a lengthy battle over his son or is that a conclusion you came to? Maybe it really doesn't bother him that he is not involved with her family.

    Answer by bandrplus2 at 2:08 AM on May. 24, 2010

  • I agree, stay out of it. If you told the sister they are still together then she'll take it from that end. How can they not know she's with him if they own a house and live together? Surely they call or drop by.

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:32 AM on May. 24, 2010

  • wow that's pretty shitty of her - she needs to grow up and tell her family how wonderful she is. what happens if they decide they want to get married? anyway, that's just my opinion - frankly it's his life, his problem. you need to let him handle it... chances are if you start intefering everyone will end up resenting you instead of her...

    Answer by figaro8895 at 8:16 AM on May. 24, 2010

  • You need to stay out of it trust me. Family in laws are real drama, and I would not want to be in the middle of that. He will only take her side for now.

    Answer by ambr2006 at 9:39 AM on May. 24, 2010

  • I agree stay out of it, if comes to you for advice then fine. Give him the best advice you can.

    Answer by mamaofficer at 10:26 AM on May. 24, 2010

  • Butt out. This is their relationship and their family. It's not your place to say anything at all.

    Also, you love your brother so you are seeing this from a very subjective point of view. Your brother may not be as great as you think and his girl friend may not be as awful as you think.

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 11:31 AM on May. 24, 2010

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