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DH told me I 'complain too much about being a mom.'

Ok, I admit that being a mom is really hard work. DH told me yesterday that he thinks I 'complain too much' about it to other people, like I make it seem like I hate being a mother. That is not the case at all--I love it, but yes, I am honest about how hard it is! Do you know anyone who does this? Do you? Now I"m wondering what other people must think about me. LIke maybe they think I hate my kid!

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:46 AM on May. 24, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • the only thing I have to complain about, is my son can be an ORNERY little turkey. but overall, he really is a great kid. sometimes I wonder if people get that same impression about me...but I don't really feel like I "complain"...

    I don't know...what are you saying that he thinks you're "complaining about being a mother" ?

    Answer by carliemarie1015 at 11:08 AM on May. 24, 2010

  • Who cares what other people think? And in fact, who cares what your husband thinks if he's never done the job?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:10 AM on May. 24, 2010

  • Well, she was a very colicky newborn and I had a bad birth (an infected c-section, breech, unsucessful version,etc.) Basically, everything that could have gone wrong w/ the birth, did go wrong. Plus, she cried for about 5 mos. straight, 12 hours a day! She is an awesome kid now, but I think it's in my personality to sort of dwell on the negative and I do say negative things a lot:(

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:11 AM on May. 24, 2010

  • Complaining too much is toxic. It's toxic to your own spirit. It's toxic to your marriage. It's toxic to your kids. I sure hope you never complain about the challenges of being a mom in front of your children. Yes, being a mom is hard. But so is being the head of the household with the responsibility of the whole house and family on your shoulders. Your complaining about being a mother is putting a burden on your husband and it's also creating a negative climate in your home, which in turn is going to give you more to complain about.

    Try to make a conscious effort to be positive and happy and watch your mood and your husband's change for the better.

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 11:23 AM on May. 24, 2010

  • You need to read Dr. Laura's book "Stop Whining, Start Living." Seriously. You can buy it on Amazon. I was in your shoes. I thought I was doing some healthy venting, but I was actually hurting my kids' self esteem and tearing down my marriage. My complaints were also making my husband feel like a failure. He was working to support us so I could stay home with the kids, so if I wasn't happy with my role it made him feel like he was doing something wrong. And that put a ton of strain on our marriage.

    The very first dare in "The Love Dare" is to go an entire day without saying 1 negative thing to your spouse. Whining and complaining will destroy a marriage faster than anything else.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:26 AM on May. 24, 2010

  • ok its normal to vent frustrations..thats why we're on cafemom lol most of us anyway to complain about our kids, marriages, and finances, housework and all that comes with being a wife or mother. mine tried to say the same thing but then he got the point once he started complaining about how much he doesnt want to go to work, or doesnt want to do this or that for his job and how he hardly gets a good relaxing day off. so yes i told him its the same thing with me i dont get a day for myself hardly ever im up at 6:30 am and usually dont go to bed until well after 11, i do all the primary care for the children and the house so yes damn i get tired too! i also work part time and sometimes i am worn out, but men expect the woman never to get tired. mine tells me that there are single moms with more kids than mine, and im all like AND dont you think they get tired too! i mean really!

    Answer by secondtyme520 at 11:54 AM on May. 24, 2010

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