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How would you deal with this situation?

My baby brother (21) has been dating the same girl for 6 years, she is a year older than him but in the same grade. They are both going to college while living at home, and have been talking about getting married and having kids. She has been part of our family for a long time, and she up and broke up with him last week because she is "too busy" for a serious boyfriend. Ok, while none of us really expected them to stay together forever, my brother is heartbroken. This is the only person he has ever dated, and I have never seen him so upset. I know it is none of my business but I want to talk to her and see where her head is at, if he did something to make her mad, if she just doesn't love him any more, if there is someone else. I feel like I can help my brother in this time if I know WHY this is going on. And I want to be there for her, too, if she needs someone. MY heart is broken for them, and I don't know if I should (CONT)

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:53 PM on May. 24, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • (CONT) stay out of it, or talk to her, or what. I feel like there has been a divorce in the family! Would you talk to her, or let it go, or what? What can I do to help my brother? He is a very good looking kid, smart, funny, any girl would be lucky to have him (and I don't just say that because he is my brother - its true). His only downfall is that he is very shy, so to add to everything else, he knows it is going to be very hard for him to find a new girlfriend (when he is ready) because he is too shy to just go talk to someone.

    Any advice would be fantastic.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:55 PM on May. 24, 2010

  • leave it alone. it will work itself out. it's not your place to be in their business
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 6:57 PM on May. 24, 2010

  • I agree with jennifer, she does need time to be her age and become independant in her own right and so does he, if they do get back together their relationship will be stronger because they had time to grow up without eachother, if they don't then it wasn't ment to be
    gypsymama532

    Answer by gypsymama532 at 7:12 PM on May. 24, 2010

  • if you were close enough for her to confide in, she would have already done that. sometimes i've missed my ex's families much more than them, but i always felt it best to let their families support them and them only when we split. his heart will heal in its own time. it's something almost everyone goes through at some point. better now than after marriage. go ahead and grieve yourself but don't interfere just be supportive.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 7:24 PM on May. 24, 2010

  • People come into our lives for a reason and a season. Their season is up, that's all. She wants to see what life has to offer her. Tell him to let her go and if it's true love she'll be back but I'd rather see her do this now than to wait, marry & have children then decide he's not really what she wants. She just wants to be sure. Nothing wrong with that.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:38 PM on May. 24, 2010

  • It's not really your business. Be there for him as much as you can, and perhaps tell him that they weren't the ones for each other. Do you think he would really feel better if you went digging and he got more details? There could be details that you don't want to hear either.
    I don't think that hearing that she didn't want to be with him for whatever reason is going to help anyone. Either way they are over and maybe it should just be left as that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:48 PM on May. 24, 2010

  • i agree with anon. there might be details your brother wouldn't want to know. just be there for him as much as you can. there will be other girls. if it's meant to be so shall it be as they say. he'll get over her eventually in the mean time tell him you're there for him if he needs someone to talk to.
    xavierlogan09

    Answer by xavierlogan09 at 8:51 PM on May. 24, 2010

  • It seem like you're more hurt than he is. Just let them work it out.
    ambr2006

    Answer by ambr2006 at 9:22 PM on May. 24, 2010

  • I'd just make yourself more available for your brother, but let him do the talking. I understand how badly you want to make it better, but you can't. All you can do is be a shoulder to cry on. It's not your place to get involved. If I were the girlfriend and I had found another guy or just fallen out of love, I don't think I'd feel very comfortable with my ex's family trying to talk to me about it. It's sweet that you want to help, but you can't fix this. If it were meant to be fixed then only your brother and the ex can do that. No one can do it for them.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 9:25 PM on May. 24, 2010

  • I'm with all those that say to stay out of it. Your brother will probably be thanking her in a couple of years. I know he's hurt, but that will pass. Getting involved in something that's really none of your business never turns out good. If she wanted you to know she'd of told you. Your a good sister, but MYOB.......Hugs

    zbee

    Answer by zbee at 9:28 PM on May. 24, 2010

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