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anyone a compulsive spy on your SO?

Because of previous habits my SO has, i tend to check up on my SO every once in awhile. like check there cell records to see who they been talking to or texting or pic messaging. I just recently checked the records this is the first time in years and i found out that my SO has been talking to an old neighbor who a month or so back was my SO's love interest, they talked dirty to one another on the phone while my SO was at work supposed to be working,talked dirty thru text and sent and recieved naughty photos of one another.we are in councling trying to work things out but my SO still talks to this person and it irritates me to no end.I have told my SO that it bothers me and it does nothing but add more problems to our relationship,and if this person was a true friend they would tell my SO hey if your working things out then we need to stop being friends.I am getting sick and tired of being a compulsive spy,but my SO (cont below

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:46 PM on May. 24, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • i used to when we were going through some trials & tribulations, but now i dont. i look at it as i have 2 LO's to look after, go to school & maintain our household, i do not have the time to micro manage a grown man. your SO needs to man up & try to work out yall problems or you need to woman up and leave him. i knocked off checking every little thing he did, and he straightened his act up. i am sorry you have to go through this, but you either except the sneaky crap he doing or you kick him to the curb. its your call
    3xangel

    Answer by 3xangel at 8:54 PM on May. 24, 2010

  • from what im reading so far, you get what you deserve. someone will only treat you how you let them treat you. its time to leave him, if not then get used to it.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 8:48 PM on May. 24, 2010

  • If you have to spy, this person needs to be your EX SO.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 8:57 PM on May. 24, 2010

  • i don't think the counseling is going to do much good if he is continuing this behavior. sounds like you're the only one interested in making things work - that doesn't work in relationships. i don't advocate spying - you generally find something you don't want to, but then the only time i've ever done that was because i knew something shady was going on. i completely understand how crazy-making it can be for someone to be lying when your gut tells you the truth and how you can end up in crazy spy mode. what you need to figure out is not how you can do the impossible (make the relationship work on your own) but what is the last straw for you? what is your happiness and dignity worth to you?
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 9:05 PM on May. 24, 2010

  • I don't need to spy...my SO is a wonderful man who doesn't lie to me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:08 PM on May. 24, 2010

  • I went through the same thing with my ex husband.....that is why he is my ex
    MissHeidi0304

    Answer by MissHeidi0304 at 9:37 PM on May. 24, 2010

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