Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

WILL I EVER GET OVER THIS?

OK so almost 6 years ago my grandpa passed away suddenly one night at work. I was 18 years old and I still have not gotten over it. I look at my DD and know that he would have loved her to peices and more. I know that most people will say he is still around you but I want to see him again I want him to be able to play with my DD and to take care of my grandma. She is almost 73 and needs help and I up and moved away from her and now she is all upset because I am her heart(this is what has told me my whole life) just today she was crying to me that I was sooo specail to my Pa. How when they saw me in the hospital they both knew I was specail to them and I was and still am to my Nanny. I call her at least 4 times a day to check up on her and make sure she took her meds and when to physical therapy. But every time I hang up I want to curse at my Pa for doing this to her. I want him back!!! When will it get easier?

Answer Question
 
delilahsmom1177

Asked by delilahsmom1177 at 9:55 PM on May. 24, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 19 (7,071 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • Just try not to think about him anymore and get on with your life. that always works for me. Just block him out of your mind and don't worry so much about the old fart.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:00 PM on May. 24, 2010

  • Sorry, I thought my advice was pretty good, seriously, the more you dwell on it the harder it get and the more it hurts
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:05 PM on May. 24, 2010

  • omg I'm so sorry. I have never lost anyone close to me so I really don't know what to say. I hope you get some good advice.
    thisloveofmine

    Answer by thisloveofmine at 10:07 PM on May. 24, 2010

  • My grandma is an old bag like really out of 11 grandkids I am the only one who calls her everyday!!! She needs me and I know it and I love it. I can never forget a man who let me drive a car for the first time at 10 years old, who would make me feel sooo specail...
    delilahsmom1177

    Answer by delilahsmom1177 at 10:08 PM on May. 24, 2010

  • I think that the best way is to always remember him and don't blame him for leave your grandmother but instead remember that God is the One who has the last word and when a life is going to expire so I know it must be really hard for you to get over it but remember that God cares about you and your family and He is wiser than anyone else so if He decided to take your grandfather away it was because God taught that it was the best time . It will get easier is better if you get with your grandmother and remember the good times and then give your feeling to God that He may bring you peace !!! Hope this advice helps you !!!! :-)
    Vero529

    Answer by Vero529 at 10:10 PM on May. 24, 2010

  • Thank you Vero. I know that it's just sooooo hard! I miss him sooo much!
    delilahsmom1177

    Answer by delilahsmom1177 at 10:14 PM on May. 24, 2010

  • Do NOT forget about your Pa, do NOT stop thinking about him . That is horrible advice. My grandpa passed away when I was 13 and I still think about him a lot and I am 38 years old. I also think about my other grandpa, my Nana and my uncle who have all passed. It is nice to keep memories alive. I tell my son about all of them and he has never met them.

    My advice, STOP blaming him for leaving your grandma, he didn't chose to die. God needed him for some reason and that is why he died. Talk to your grandma about him, tell your children about it. It may not hurt to go to grief counseling to help you deal with your feelings. It is ok to grief and everyone does so differently. But DO NOT forget about him or stop thinking about it. I even talk to my Papa when I need help or am feeling down. He can't answer but it is nice to talk to him.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:48 PM on May. 24, 2010

  • Honestly, you will probably never get over it, but it will get easier with time. Allow yourself to cry, as crying helps with the healing of the pain. Remember him and let his memories live.
    sondamom0828

    Answer by sondamom0828 at 11:03 PM on May. 24, 2010

  • tyfry actually he kind of did kill himself in a way. When he was 50 he had a heart attack, he did not change his diet kept smoking and then when things got bad with money he started helping a friend run a night club and he got into drugs again(something he quit when my mom was pregnant with me) and he had a heart attck that killed him at 55 years old. So that is why I blame him. He left her. She says even now that he did some really bad things(drugs) but he was a wonderful husband, great father, and an even better grandpa. He was. Every time I go to her house I make her put on the tape of them renewing their vows because the look in his eyes when he says those words are pure and loving I just always want to remember that day(I was about 11 or so) I make my DD watch it also and tell her all about him. He had his hangups and his problems but he was the best grandpa anyone could ever have!!!!
    delilahsmom1177

    Answer by delilahsmom1177 at 11:30 PM on May. 24, 2010

  • I'm really sorry you lost a loved one, the best way to grieve IMO is to remember the person. Collect photos of him and create a nice album, spend time around his birthday or other significant date remembering him with your daughter, go to his grave with her and place flowers and just talk about him.

    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 6:01 AM on May. 25, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN