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What would a "man" do...??

My husband and I both work and make over six figures combines. We have a nice life but in his industry he gets laid off at least twice a year and it sets us back financially. We own a home so it's not easy to just move. I've pawned my engagement ring. We're late with our mortgage and car payment.I'm always coming up with a "plan"...I get so annoyed with him. I think he should get a second job to cover the losts of him being laid off. We have two kids, one in day care and one in elementary school. I'm just so turned off right now..all we do is work to pay bills. It's important to me to live in a certain school district for the betterment of my son's education...but it's very expensive, Bergen County NJ. What should he do? I refuse to get a second job-i can get in trouble with my job because of the field I'm in and I don't want to be away from my kids anymore than I am...mature advise appreciated. Thanks


Asked by Anonymous at 10:27 PM on May. 24, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • I think you are just living beyond your means. You should be able to live comfortably on six figures even when he is laid off. MY advice is to consult a financial advisor and keep money in savings so that you can still pay your regular bills while he isnt working. To have to work two jobs when you are already living well is not fair to your husband. You should be anticipating this every year now and be ready for it. Sounds like he makes good money the rest of the year and is doing his part to support your family. You just need some readjusting.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:45 PM on May. 24, 2010

  • you don't really say in there, have u talked w/ him about getting another job?

    Answer by hibbingmom at 10:29 PM on May. 24, 2010

  • oh, the 1st thing that comes to mind is your little one should NOT NOT NOT NOT be in daycare while he is off work. that's an enormous hunk of $ right there.

    Answer by hibbingmom at 10:29 PM on May. 24, 2010

  • He needs a more stable job plain and simple.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:30 PM on May. 24, 2010

  • Do you have family in the area? If not, is there another industry he could look into and then do a nation wide search.... taking in account school districts and your career? If the kids are young this might be the time to make a HUGE change.

    If not, could he go back to school and find an industry that doesnt include constant lay offs?

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:31 PM on May. 24, 2010

  • You are right. He needs to man up and get a second job. It isn't up to you alone to support the family. Whether or not it is "his field" or if he likes it (or not), he has to get SOMETHING, even if its telephone surveys. It seems to me his job is more a seasonal one... what can he do with the skills he has in another season. can he start his own business? The MAN is supposed to support the family first and foremost, unless mutually agreed otherwise(sorry that's religion comin' through hehe). My husband works 2 jobs so that I don't have to work. However, I am going back to school and working on starting a business. Also, I don't see why you couldn't live outside that school district and get a pardon. It happens a lot, especially in places where there are rural communities and the kids would rather go into town for school rather than the po-dunk one out by them.

    Answer by missbreezy214 at 10:32 PM on May. 24, 2010

  • He needs a stable job. He has a family to help support. It sounds like it takes both of you working full time to support your lifestyle and to be honest, I just don't understand the value of a job that lays off employees twice a year. That kind of thing is okay before you have kids but once they are in the picture, time to be an adult. And I agree with a PP about the daycare thing. No reason to do that when he is home.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 10:41 PM on May. 24, 2010

  • yes you need to have a talk with him.
    Since you already know he is getting laid off twice a year why don't you save some money along the way. So it won't be so hard on you. he seems to just go with the flow and that is NOT fair for you and the kids. GL

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:45 PM on May. 24, 2010

  • If you both make six figure incomes that's over $200,000 per year jointly. Unless you are living well beyond your means you should be able to cover expenses while he is out of work. Do you save money? Do you own your cars outright (if you own cars vs. public transportation)? Do you spend a lot on credit cards? Do you have a mortgage that is too high? If there are any ways for you to downgrade your lifestyle without sacrificing your location to benefit your children's educations, then get crackin'. Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover rocks.  His website has budget calculators to help you pay down debt with the ultimate goal of being debt free. 


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:47 PM on May. 24, 2010

  • Why are you getting behind if you two are making six figures a year? You obviously need to rebudget yourselves because you're obviously living beyond your means.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:49 PM on May. 24, 2010