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Do you sometimes feel like your alone in raising your kids even if your married?

How do you cope with it?

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:28 AM on May. 25, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (24)
  • only 24/7 baby. my husband rarely if ever does anything on his own (anything from discipline to chores to household decisions, etc)

    the tactic I came up w/ is to try and treat him like an employee... a personal assistant. a BAD personal assistant. i give a list of 4-6 very important things i need done and maybe 2 or 3 will actually happen. sometimes it's mow the lawn. sometimes it's take your son to dairy queen and spend 20 minutes one on one time w/ him. it's sad and frustrating..... sure it's physically tiring (much to his surprise the laundry fairy does not exist. it's just me!!!!) but mainly it's emotionally sad and stressful. IE remembering to lock the door, bring my debit card, snacks for the kids, pay that gas bill, bring the trash out on trash night or we're screwed for the week, etc. he has no clue how the house runs and i feel alone, lonely and overwhelmed. it causes resentment. a lot, lol

    Answer by hibbingmom at 3:38 AM on May. 25, 2010

  • I'm glad it's not just me, and the worst part of it is that I didn't give birth to these two. I'm the stepmom here, the boys were 20 mos and 7 mos when I moved in. Most of the time things aren't bad, but sometimes it's like I'm raising three boys on my own...instead of helping to raise two and married to the third one.

    Answer by daisy521 at 3:53 AM on May. 25, 2010

  • oh sorry...coping? Sometimes it's a day to day struggle just to keep my sanity in check. I just bite my lip and hope things get better, cuz trying to talk to him is basically pointless.

    Answer by daisy521 at 3:55 AM on May. 25, 2010

  • Yep! And we just separated because of it.

    Answer by emslala at 4:08 AM on May. 25, 2010

  • I do feel that way sometimes. It has gotten better lately though. My DH started a new work schedule where he is working 5 days/wk instead of 4 12 hr days one week and 3 12 hr days the next week. He hasn't changed anything in helping me with the kids at all, but I feel like at least he is out working every day while I take care of the kids. On the old schedule I felt like he should help me at least on one of his days off, but he wouldn't because he needed his days off from doing anything that he didn't want to do. That job was also pretty cushy, meaning he didn't have to actually do a lot of work. Now his job is more like a real job so I think he actually deserves a day off now. Now if I could just figure out a way for me to have a day off...

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:10 AM on May. 25, 2010

  • OMG!!! i am so glad i am not the only one!!! though my DH is giving my DD a bath right now... but it takes me being so sick i can hardly bend over... you know how it is with a head cold... fever, runny nose and a cough that hurts so bad!!! though i did manage to do all the laundry and cook and clean up dinner... but at least he is trying to give her a bath... though all she is doing is saying "momma" BUT the majority of it all is done by me.... granted i am a SAHM at the moment i BUT he could help a little!!! and i hate always being the 'bad' one.... ok he needs help drying and dressing...

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:13 AM on May. 25, 2010

  • My husband locks himself in his computer room every day and says he's being "productive". He doesn't do anything. Not mow the lawn, not take out trash, he can't even seem to pick up his own damn dishes or put away the rest of the lunch meat. He "works" three nights a week at a bar which he invites friends out and drinks and plays pool. he always talks about how he has a job and I pay none of the bills.. It's not my fault I don't get paid for picking up his shit. and we have four kids, one is just his and I'm 8 1/2 months pregnant on bedrest, but still do 5 times more than he does around here. I also hand him the child support for my two when it comes in so he can "pay the bills" like he says he does all on his own. And as for giving the kids a bath, HAH! The ONLY time he has ever given our daughter a bath was when she threw up all over herself, and I was too sick to do it myself. And shes almost three..... one time in 3 years

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:42 AM on May. 25, 2010

  • I'm in your boat. My husband won't do the following: laundry, dishes, any other type of cleaning, diaper changes, baths for the kids, getting clothes on the kids/out for them, make doctors appointments, go to the parent teacher visits at school, take the kids to the park and actually help me watch them, cook dinner or any other meal, really. He won't get up in the morning with the kids or stay up until the last one is asleep. He sleeps, runs errands for us (I don't drive) AS WELL AS his brother and his aunt, and plays video games on his time off from work. So I do say, 97% and he does 3%.

    And sadly, it doesn't matter if I'm sick. I was 7.5 months pregnant, had the stomach flu really bad and lost 6lbs in 2 days. Yet I still ended up taking care of 2 sick little kids (2.4 and 3.5) and myself. My husband was the only one not sick and still not doing anything. I'm a SAHM as well, but this is how it was when I was working, too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:52 AM on May. 25, 2010

  • 6:52 poster here: As for how I cope, I end up going off on him every few months from built up resentment and he does better for maybe a week. Otherwise, lets just say I'm a really stressed, resentful woman when it comes to my husband. WE made 3 kids, not just me. I've left him once already and will inevitably end up doing it for good if this keeps going on.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:55 AM on May. 25, 2010

  • I'm sorry you guys are going through this. Please don't accept that it's "just the way men are" because it's not. Your husbands all sound liketotal douches and that should NOT be tolerated!

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:56 AM on May. 25, 2010

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