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What happened to you before during and after the divorce or separation?

What is the turning point and what made you decide to do it?


Asked by LavenderRose10 at 3:31 AM on May. 25, 2010 in Relationships

Level 12 (762 Credits)
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Answers (5)
  • In my case it was his choice, I was one of those wives that honestly did not know see it coming. No fighting...we seemed to get along well, he said it was because...."he never really loved me"...after 22 yrs? Yeah, right!

    I have to admit that I was stupid enough to try to kill myself, which didn't work. (obviously lol ) I did end up losing about 25 lbs...although it's been almost 5 yrs this fall since the divorce and I've not only gained that back....but an extra 25 as well. But my ex did me the biggest favor in the world, cuz I ended up meeting the most amazing man ever...and most days I've never been happier. The other days are bad due to health reasons.

    Answer by daisy521 at 4:03 AM on May. 25, 2010

  • The big "turning point" for me was when my 4 year old started telling his dad to "stop yelling at mommy" - I just couldn't see that ending well as he grew up and got older, plus I didn't want my 3 year old daughter to think it was okay for a man to treat his wife the way my ex treated me. I left with pretty much nothing and it was hard! I borrowed about $2K from my parents and with that I rented a townhouse that I moved into with my kids the weekend before I started a new job (I had been a SAHM). I worked full time for 4-5 months - and during those months I did receive food stamps and WIC. That spring I started school full time while waiting tables nights and weekends to make ends meet. I met my husband while in school, but we took things VERY slow. Now I have the life I always dreamed of/thought I would have with a man I love who cares for me!

    Answer by missanc at 8:30 AM on May. 25, 2010

  • He called it. I kept putting up with all his disrespect and making excuses for him because I thought it would get better, but I should have left when I had the chance earlier. Either which way when you start treating one another with disrespect and one of you doesn't even want to TRY to make things better, someone should leave.
    Obviously this is something you're struggling with - is it the right decision? What will everyone think? How will I support myself?
    These are questions only you can answer, but I can guarantee that making yourself happy is more important than being miserable just to do what you think is right. It might be hard and a huge adjustment to being divorced, but when you come out the other side, it's better than putting on an act every day.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:33 AM on May. 25, 2010

  • Before: Lack of interest, respect, communication, love.
    During: We separated.
    After: Never spoke again.

    Obviously the situation may have been different if we had kids together, but we didn't, and I'm glad for that.

    Answer by Happypancake at 10:39 AM on May. 25, 2010

  • The turning point for me waswhen he lied straight to my face about something he had sworn a few weeks beforehand not to lie about anymore. I realized right then and there that he would always be a liar, I would never be able to trust him, and that I could not have a relationship with someone I could not trust. We'd been to marriage counseling for months and I really tried to make things work, but that was the straw that broke our marriage....him going out, getting a $7000 loan without talking to me about it,and buying a motorcycle when we didnt have the money certainly didnt help in keeping us together either. We are still in the during part and my husband hit me twice a few weeks ago in front of our 2yr old which really reinforced divorce was best. 30days and it'll be over and I am happy to be able to move on with my life.


    Answer by soccerchik8287 at 7:24 PM on May. 25, 2010