Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

toddler to get her to stop

I have a 16 almost 17 month old the last week she has decided to start slapping in the face when mad....we have tried so many different things to get her to stop....finally we resorted to the hand slap (not very hard) she cries and hits back harder and harder...then will throw a 45 min temper tantrum (in pack and play for time-out) WHAT CAN I DO? Or is it just a phase and if so WHEN WILL IT END?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:52 AM on May. 25, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (8)
  • well, my sister went through that 'phase' and she's about 35 and she's still hitting.
    I don't have a big answer for you, but I can tell you that my mother thought she would outgrow it.
    She sent me to the emergency room with injuries, and I have every reason to believe that she's hitting her partner as well.

    I hope that she either does outgrow it or a punishment works to stop it.
    but it doesn't sounds like the slapping is working- as she's hitting back.
    I hope it works out for you-

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:03 AM on May. 25, 2010

  • Stop slapping her hand! Um if you do it, then she will do it! You tell her no you do not hit and distract her with a toy or a book. Does she watch crap TV? Where did she learn how to hit?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:04 AM on May. 25, 2010

  • I'm lucky that I've never had to deal with that with my child. I know when I was young I used to pinch. My grandpa broke me of it by pinching me back, just as hard as I did it to him. Sounds harsh, but it works.

    Answer by LauraMe at 11:34 AM on May. 25, 2010

  • WOW......distract her with a toy? Thats like rewarding for bad behavior isn't it? UMMMMM YEAH..........TV Crap? wow yeah Mickey Mouse and Little Einsteins..............did they teach her how to hit? NO.......she doesn't watch anything else...none of our shows r watched until after she is sleeping. As for where she learned it we have no idea.....she has NEVER seen anyone hit!!!!! This is not a LEARNED behavior.......I have n idea where she picked it up from....NOT HERE TO BE LECTURED ON HOW I RAISE MY CHILD..........asking for help.......IF U R NOT HERE TO HELP .........DON'T ANSWER THIS QUESTION

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:35 AM on May. 25, 2010

  • When my toddler hits, I hold her hands down at her sides and gently but firmly say: NO hitting mommy, hitting is NOT nice" and I let her go. If she does it again, I hold her hands and repeat it again.
    She ends up crying but hugging me instead of hitting me.
    Toddlers are not intentionally trying to hit or hurt you, they are lashing out and if you are in that space where they are lashing out at, you will get hit,lol.
    If after the 3rd time of holding down the hands and saying that doesnt work, then I would place her into time out.
    Consistency and time...she will outgrow it...hang in there ma!!! It will get better!

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 12:14 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • The blissful world of toddlerhood ! I think all kids go through this stage in one form or another. Some love to bite some love to slap some love to scream etc... As for how you choose to discipline is totally your business and no one knows your child better than you. The form of discipline I chose was a spank (on the bottom only) I only did this though until the child understood what right and wrong were. I was hit like you are and I would tell my child NO -hold the childs hand and tell them that hurt me and is not what I want them to do when they feel angry/frustrated...whatever .. and I would set them in time out( a minute every year old),and if the problem came back in the same time period a spank on the bottom and in time out would happen .Anyhow-in your case you are a great mom and don't worry. If you have a time out set up-stick to your guns and listen to your instincts.

    Answer by momof4kids257 at 3:06 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • We taught our daughter the words to her feelings--so she knows to say she is frustrated or angry. Then we told her if she feels she needs to hit something, clap her hands together or find a pillow. I know it sounds judgemental having someone tell you not to hit your kid, but use commone sense--how is hitting your kid going to stop them from hitting? Even my pediatrician told me if my daughter was going through a hitting phase to be sure NOT to be spanking or hand slapping. It sends a mixed message.

    Just be consistent and let her know it is an unacceptable behavior.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:34 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • It is a phase. The best thing you can do is stop her from hitting someone before it happens. It stinks and is hard to do, but it is a phase and she will grow out of it. Keep a close eye on her and when you see her get ready to hit, grab her hand, and get down in her face to explain that hitting is not acceptable. I always told my daughter something like "we give hugs and kisses" as well. I know its hard but just keep telling yourself this will not last forever. Soon she'll realize she can have more fun and more freedom if she would just not hit.

    Answer by soccerchik8287 at 7:34 PM on May. 25, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Toddlers (1-2)
poddy training

Next question overall (Home & Garden)
Roman shades