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Would you be upset

If your future sister in law didnt ask you or your children to be in the wedding....after helping with EVERYTHING and paying for alot of things?

maybe I am just dissapointed, he is my only sibling and we have been getting alot closer.. and he told me that he wants me and my 2 kids ( the only niece and nephew) to be in the wedding some how... But then the other day I get a call from her and my mutual friend saying that she is a bridesmaid and then tells me who else she said is in the wedding ( the other 2 bridemaids are women she just met in the last month) ...and then using those 2 womens kids in the wedding also.

I am not going to say anything 9 what can I say without looking like a jealous b*tch?) .. but I am just super hurt by it !

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:36 AM on May. 25, 2010 in Just for Fun

Answers (12)
  • me personally, I have never been offended by not being in a wedding, they cost too much!

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 11:38 AM on May. 25, 2010

  • Since she hasn't told you directly, when you see your brother ask him if they've decided on their wedding party. It will draw it to his attention that maybe you should have been asked? Its an icky situation and I feel bad for you. Its always interesting to see how weddings are put together. Someone always gets hurt. My daughter planned her wedding and completely let me out. Her husband to be also helped pick out the bridesmaids dresses and all other details. I was used and abused. Never even got a thank you (for what I was allowed to help with), never got an I'm sorry for being treated like crap either. It still festers today. I hope things get worked out for you. Good luck!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:40 AM on May. 25, 2010

  • I can see being hurt by it but it is her wedding and she can ask whoever. Maybe she feels like you'v edone too much, or your kids are too big, or too small...sho knows what she is thinking but just go and have fun! If she hadnt told u before thta your kids were going to be in it then their is no reason to expect her to pick them.

    Answer by ria7 at 11:41 AM on May. 25, 2010

  • I would be upset but I also have the inlaws that would do something like that lol. My wedding included inlaws from both sides, my brothers wife had to back out due to work and i was really sad about it, i truly wanted her in the wedding. My advice dont help anymore unless it is to help you brother directly, if your brother truly wants you in the wedding he needs to say something to her.

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 11:41 AM on May. 25, 2010

  • i wouldnt be hurt. She could have many reasons she chose friends over family. Maybe there is too much family to choose from and she doesnt want to offend anyone on your side or her side.

    Answer by shay1130 at 11:43 AM on May. 25, 2010

  • the GROOM said he wanted us in the wedding ( I would imagine he has a say so too) ...and the kids that were picked were the SAME exact age as my kids... i dont think I have done too much because she has asked me ( and is still asking me) to do it .....

    and i said I just feel hurt...I know its her wedding

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:43 AM on May. 25, 2010

  • if i had my wedding to do over again i wouldnt even have had any children in attendance at my wedding except for my son of course. The kids practically ruined my reception. I knew they would and i didnt want to invite kids but everyone said it would be wrong so i did what they wanted but at the end they told me how right i was.

    Answer by shay1130 at 11:50 AM on May. 25, 2010

  • yeah that's not right. your paying for and helping throw their wedding and she picks near strangers over your kids that your brother wants in the wedding. that's screams B*tch to me. good luck hun. ask your bro about the wedding party. maybe he doesn't know. it's his wedding too. I'm sorry she's being like that. And unfortunately I can only see her being like that in the future too. Good luck hun.


    Answer by EarthMama05 at 11:51 AM on May. 25, 2010

  • I have been in one wedding and it so much more trouble than it was ever worth. My SIL is wanting my under school age kids to be in her wedding and I can already see that her expectations are so far from reality I don't know if I should dread it or clear the memory card for my camera and take pictures of the catastrophe that will ensue. There was one child at my wedding and he did his best to ruin the reception and the meal at a restaurant DH's parents took us to as an extra gift.

    As to the original question, I don't think it's your business who she has in her wedding party and I have to disagree with at least one comment made about her being a bitch. This sounds like jealousy that your brother is getting married and that is odd. It's okay to be close but enmeshed is something completely different. Their wedding is not about you or your kids so why should care about her side or even pay for anything?

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:24 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • My advice dont help anymore unless it is to help you brother directly, if your brother truly wants you in the wedding he needs to say something to her.

    I would strongly advise not to go behind her back about the wedding. I'm sorry to say this but the truth is most men couldn't care less who is in the wedding party or whose kids are going to be flower girl or ring bearer or whatever but if he wants you in it, he'll say something to her although to be honest, it is not his place to tell her who her bridesmaids are going to be. You might have to face the fact that she is not as close to you as you think she is and maybe you should not equate paying for some of their wedding to being in it. I really would not ask him to take sides on this.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:30 PM on May. 25, 2010

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