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Am I being a bad mom?

My daughter's always been a good sleeper. However, a week ago she started crying whenever I left the room. I started doing what I did when we first started training her to sleep - letting her cry it out but with visits every few min to reassure her that she wasn't alone. That didn't help much.
So, I took her to the doctor, and he said she has an ear infection. She is COMPLETELLY fine all day, she eats well, plays well. Her only problem is sleeping by herself. Finally, after a week of poor sleeping or not at all, last night after holding her for an hour and a half, I put her in the crib and she woke up. She cried for about 20 minutes and went to sleep but woke up at 11 when I tried to do it again but was bombarded by my MIL who made it seem that I was a monster for letting her cry when she's not well. She was medicated, she didn't have a fever, she just refused to sleep alone. Please, can anyone tell me I'm not a monster!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:01 PM on May. 25, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (27)
  • You are not a monster. You are being her mother. Your MIL has raised her kids, she needs to butt out now and let you do what you think is right. I would do the same.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 12:04 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • I think you should give her the comfort she NEEDS while she is sick.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:04 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • You aren't! I would have done the same thing and have with my son. Sometimes they need to learn to self sooth, there's only so much you can do sometimes.

    Answer by newmomma14 at 12:04 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • Sweetheart you are not a monster!!!!! It's not like that she was deathly ill!!!! That would be a different story!!!!! You kept checking in and there is nothing wrong trying to get her to sleep in her own bed!!!! I am trying to get my two year old to sleep in his own bed but its not working out so well!!!! MIL's can be a bunch of pains in the butt!!!!! You're her mother and you know whats best! Grandma's are just way too overprotective sometimes!!!! But you make the choices you need to for her and dont worry about what anyone else says!!! But NO you are not a monster!! You sound like a really good mom!!!

    Answer by IloveBilly at 12:06 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • actually, when you have an ear infection it can be painful to lay down because of the pressure it puts on your ears

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 12:12 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • You are feeling horrible about what you did to your poor sick baby? "She refused to sleep alone." It wasn't a refusal, she was sick and in pain. Babies aren't supposed to sleep alone in the first place. When a baby is sick and in pain it isn't a refusal. They NEED to be held. It reduces the pain.

    My grandson is 20 mo and has eczema head to toe. He has allergies and a genetic immune disorder. Eczema itches, is painful, and makes it hard to sleep. I hold him the whole time he takes naps. He can't nap unless you hold him, he is too uncomfortable. I held him for 3 hours yesterday in 90+ degree heat (our AC isn't working). My arms went numb. My legs went numb. It's what you do when you have compassion.

    Is the opposite of compassion being a monster?


    Answer by Gailll at 12:12 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • You are not a monster, but I got to say MIL is right, you should comfort her even if you have given her medication, with an ear infection, the worst times is when they lay down, this is one of the many reasons should never let a baby cry without comforting them, this is the only way they know how to let you know something is wrong.

    Answer by older at 12:20 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • You are not a monster you sound like a wonderful concerened mom. She may still my be uncomfortable with the ear infection, remember during the day she has alot of distractions so it might help with the pain. During the night she don't have distraction and that is when it hurts the most. Trust me, it is probably the ear infection.

    I would be sure to take her for her update visit. Then I would continue with the tough love it is hard for other people to see what you are trying to teach. They don't live with you and even if they do, it is really none of their business unless you are abusing her which it does not sound that way at all.

    Answer by KFree907 at 12:21 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • Monster?....No, but until you know for certain that the ear infection is gone, I would give her what she needs. It is better to be safe then have her feel as if you don't care. JMO

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 12:22 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • Your not a monster,keep doing the best you can. When we are tierd WE need sleep too. I have been in your position before(minus the MIL) when they are tierd they WILL lay back down & go to sleep ON THEIR OWN. I did the opposite for one of my 5 kids & regretted not doing it the other way. They get used to us always being there and will exspect to much from us the more we give, you can end up spreading yourself out to thin.There is a fine line & we love our children so that makes it hard sometimes to stick to our guns but also infact shows it in the long run why we should.~Hope I didn't ramble~

    Answer by Stefono at 12:23 PM on May. 25, 2010

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