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How do I get my 14 year old to realize some of the things she says is rude?

My 14 year old will blurt out you ate all the ice cream your fat. Wow, your going to eat that your fat.

She says she don't mean anything by it but it is very rude. Also, She gets picked on and don't realize she is being insulted. What can I do for now to help her realize that is not the way.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:05 PM on May. 25, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (18)
  • Give her a dose of her own medicine. Or tell her to repeat what she just said. Then explain to her how important it is that maybe she should think before speaking because she doesnt want to offend anyone.

    Answer by shay1130 at 12:08 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • I think making her repeat herself afterwards would let her hear how stupid it really sounds

    Answer by shay1130 at 12:09 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • Stay on top of her(so to speak) keep her close by & tell her things won't change untill her way of speaking about/ to others changes.Seriously if you don't try now you'll wish you did later on. It can effect allot of other things in her life to come.As a parent we have to mold them the best we can to get them ready to be out in th'REAL' world someday.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:11 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • I don't think doing the same thing back to her will help much- didn't work with me or mine- we just blew off our parents and just trying to be mean and that they didn't have it right to begin with.

    Every tried video taping her when she does it to someone else? may give her a different perspective

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:12 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • A dose of her own medicine is a terrible idea. You want to lead by example, not stoop to the level of a rude teen. My guess is that she's picked up this critical behavior from someone. Make sure it isn't you. Do you tend to be critical? Do you complain to your spouse or your friends? If it isn't you, then take a look at other family members or close friends. Soemone has taught her to be critical. This is now an embedded personality flaw. It will take a lot of positive modeling on your part to get her to stop being so critical.

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 12:12 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • She sounds like my Dh... He says that kind of stuff... So does my mom... Personally, it doesn't bother me, because I've always been around it. But I would talk to her about it.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 12:13 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • Talk to her about it. Model appropriate behavior, never be rude to her.


    Answer by Gailll at 12:15 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • My daughter is almost 14, and when she says rude or mean things I make sure there is a consequence. Sometimes I ask her to go to her room. Other times I ignore her, and then when I'm going shopping or something she would want to do, I say, "Yeah, it's too bad you can't go with me. I only enjoy hanging out with respectful kids." I didn't think this would have any impact on my 13 yo, but the first time I did it she actually cried because she couldn't come with me.

    I think it's important to talk to her and explain to her, but she's most likely to "get it" when the consequence is really obvious and unexpected.


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:17 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • believe me, my ex had a 12 yr old monster who did this but when i turned the tables on her and made her feel like crap she went crying. I later went and appologized to her and told her i wasnt being serious and that i was only kidding. I just wanted her to know what it was like to be teased. I asked her if it felt good and she said no.

    Answer by shay1130 at 12:17 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • That way you can remind them "remember how i made you feel that time" if you catch them being ugly.

    Answer by shay1130 at 12:19 PM on May. 25, 2010

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