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Is cheating a reason to get divorced? Would you?

This is a follow up to the "is my husband gay" question because I don't even care to think about the gay part right now I just want to know what to do now. Our lease on our place is almost up anyway and I think I should seperate from him for a while and move in with onemy parents. My parents got divorced over infidelity and now they still hate eachother and are both still single and I did not have a very happy childhood. Although I think my husband and I would be alot more civil and try to still have family time, I just wonder I should still get a divorce. I really don't know the difference between unconditional love and forgiveness (even when my husband has had suspicious behavior in the past and when confronted I told him please be honest in the future and now he gets caught almost red handed), and sticking up for myself and not being taken advantage of and for granted (and be an example of a strong person for our son)?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:28 PM on May. 25, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • for me, cheating is a deal breaker and my DH knows that
    peanutsmommy1

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 1:30 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • I got divorced over it. We couldn't get past it and it was causing problems with our ability to raise our daughter. forgiveness does not mean forgetting nor does it mean letting your guard down or suspicions go for a LONG time. If you can, work thru it. go to counsiling make sure that he is completely on board with it and not just doing it so that you don't leave him. If he is really committed then you can make it work.

    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 1:32 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • cheating is a definatly a dealbreaker. i would never give a second chance on cheating. it is the ultimate wrong. & usually once a cheater always a cheater.
    if you stay with someone who cheats your teaching your son its okay to cheat.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 1:32 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • Yes and yes. You can divorce, still be grownups about it unlike your parents, and your son will be better off than if you stay together.

    The marriage was broken with cheating.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:33 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • I believe in open marriage & relationships... Sleeping with someone else is not cheating in my opinion unless he is hiding it. If he is open and honest about it, I don't mind. But if he tried to hide it I would see it as disrespectful. But either way, no, I would not see it as a reason for divorce.
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 1:34 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • I agree with the first poster!
    older

    Answer by older at 1:37 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • I believe in open marriage & relationships... Sleeping with someone else is not cheating in my opinion unless he is hiding it. If he is open and honest about it, I don't mind. But if he tried to hide it I would see it as disrespectful. But either way, no, I would not see it as a reason for divorce.
    *****
    whoa! lol
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:53 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • My hubs knows my views on cheating, we took vows to be true and faithful to each other and to love only each other... if he broke our vows and cheated, then I would kick his ass to the curb.

    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 1:55 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • I tried to forgive my ex, but I couldn't do it, and in the end I divorced him. Now, I love the man I'm with very much, but I can't honestly say whether I'd leave or stay if he cheated. I think if he cheated once, I might try to work it out, b/c I do love him more than anything else in this world (except my kids), but if he did it again, he'd be gone. I learned my lesson on that one. I think it's something you have to decide for yourself, and for your relationship. Some time apart might be a good idea. You can see you'll be fine without him, and be able to better determine what you want to do. Besides, divorce is never a decision you should make lightly, and taking some time to think about it would be a very good idea.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 2:39 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • To anon that beleives in open relationships.....thanks for the answer. I did see a lot of suspicious behavior on the internet before and when I confronted him he said it was only on the internet and it was just curiosity. I told him that was fine and I just need to know!!! But I don't know what else I can do when I already catch him and tell him its okay as long as he lets me know and he still tries to hide it. I guess maybe the gay/bi thing is more important than I thought cause I think he might be in denial about it even to himself. If he can't be honest with himself how can he be honest with me? and in that case it seems divorce is the only option but it just sucks so much but I guess life always goes on no matter what.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:04 PM on May. 25, 2010

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