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I want my husband to take my stepson on vacation without me... Now I'm the bad guy!

My hubby and I were planning two vacations. One with my stepson and one without because my hubby wanted to go to Vegas. Well turns out, we can only afford one so I said we could go to Vegas for our anniversary in October and he got down about it. Anyways, fast forward to today (that was last week). He wants to take my stepson on a week and a half long vacation in the mountains. He doesn't discipline his son because he's only here on weekends and doesn't want to make him mad. His son gets away with murder and is a holy terror to be 10 years old. I was honestly okay with a four day trip but I'm not spending thousands of dollars for an almost 2 week long vacation to be miserable the entire time. I told him to go and that I'd stay home nad not take vacation and just work.. and now my hubby isn't speaking to me. I siad a shorter trip would be fine but that was too long to be away from my job and just too long in general... continu

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:57 PM on May. 25, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (16)
  • OP here: Anyways... So I said I'd go but it had to be just a shorter trip and he refused... SAying he wouldn't go ANYWHERE without his son... And when I say he's bad.. he's bad. He knocked our 50 inch flat screen right off the wall with a bat beacuse he was mad that we wouldn't take him to Chuckie Cheese. I was pitching a fit and my husband said not to get mad at him because he was just showing emotion. He's broken a car window twice kicking it out with his feet when he's mad.. I mean, just a mean/bad kid. I can't deal with him and don't want to spend my entire vacation being miserable. What to do.....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:59 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • Leave your husband before he hits your or a child with the bat when he is "just showing emotion." He is abusive.

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 3:03 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • You two have to learn how to parent the kid together. You're married, and you're both responsible. Granted the husband is biologically in this as well, but he needs to understand that you should have a say-so when the child is in your home. With that being said, step up to the plate. It's not right to just not go on a vacation because you don't like your step son, get over it. Don't blame him for these things. Your husband obviously lets him get away with it, and what do you do? Do you agree with him and drop the argument, or do you all work it out rationally? If you can't agree, get a counselor to work with the three of you. Breaking this amount of things is not normal, but neither is ignoring the issue.
    MissMommyK

    Answer by MissMommyK at 3:04 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • No no.. My stepson did that.. not my husband.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:04 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • Take two vehicles (if your driving) and after about 4 days, drive home and let them spend the rest of the vacation together. Almost 2 weeks is a long time to take off for work, tell him your boss won't approve time off for that amount of time.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 3:04 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • He's pissed at you because you messed with the mama bears cub. You said his son was bad and started it. You knew he had a child when you married him either figure out how to be a positive influence in his life and love him as if he were your own or get out. That's his son and will always and should always come before you. If I were your husband I'd be pissed too.
    mrsjonzy

    Answer by mrsjonzy at 3:10 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • hmmm, maybe a one and a half week trip would be good for daddy to get to know his son better! just be sure that daddy is in charge of the son. do not let any tempers ruin your vacation. just let it roll off your back!
    happy2bmom25

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 3:30 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • Wow. That kid needs to seriously go to military school. I don't normally suggest that, but that's about the only place that can straighten him out right now. You need to stand up to your husband and let him know that his son is a terror. That he needs to start putting his foot down before his son becomes violent with one of you. Seriously, that kid is out of control. Right now no vacation needs to be had, you two need to straighten that kid out before he takes his anger out on someone.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 3:45 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • Gailll - The son used the bat, not the dad. Read it right next time.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 3:45 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • Tell him that he should bond more with his son and this would be a good experience for them. I would make him think that the son is acting out because he wants more of his dad attention and your presence won't help the male bonding. I don't blame you for not wanting to go. I wouldn't want to go camping at all and if I have to deal with a disrepectful kid then that makes it even worse. Just because he is your stepson doesn't mean you have to suffer two weeks in woods with him.
    symle456

    Answer by symle456 at 4:35 PM on May. 25, 2010

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