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How do you deal with this?

If I'm in a bad mood, my SO wants to cheer me up, or try to make things better. Kind of bugs me sometimes, but ok. Tonight he's the one in a bad mood, and he says it'll just piss him off more if I try to cheer him up. So...I have to get all happy and crap for him, but I just have to deal with him being in a sucky mood? Totally not fair, and pisses me off, bringing me down. Then he gets all mad at me, for I don't even know what, and says he's gonna call me back in a bit, and hangs up without saying I love you. What do you do when your SO/hubby takes his bad mood out on you?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:55 PM on May. 25, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • i say i know youre in a bad mood but i feel like you are taking it out on me.

    Answer by jennifer588 at 7:02 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • I am the one crabby today and tired so I am unwilling to be happy either. It sucks sometimes hope his night gets better and mine as well!! LOL

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 7:22 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • you're not responsible for cheering him up - he even said so. at least you have fair warning! go take the opportunity to have some coffee or a glass of wine with a girlfriend and let him get over it. my hubby gets crabby and bitchy (man periods!) but usually doesn't have the sense to be aware of it ahead of time. i just mind my own business and don't try to engage in conversation etc. until he's over it. pick your battles.

    Answer by figaro8895 at 7:34 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • OP here...I know I'm not responsible for cheering him up. It's just...it's like a double standard or something. He expects me to cheer up and not bring him down, but I'm not allowed to expect the same in return. It's just...frustrating.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:05 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • Oh this is funny, I deal with this on a daily basis. Just ignore it that's what I do. They know they are a-holes and always come around :) They need us to survive!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:08 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • Just back off of him, and give him a little space. This happens a lot with my SO and me. He'll be in a pissy mood, I'll try to cheer him up. He'll snap at me, I'll get mad and snap back at him, then we're both mad at each other, etc. But I've learned to just leave him be. It's not your responsibility to cheer up your husband...and maybe he down't even want you to try. It's ok to feel mad/angry, etc.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:33 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • My husband and I used to fight everytime one of us was in a bad mood. We've learned over time to respect each other more. So if he is in a bad mood, I just try to support him. I am quiet and ignore his grumbles. I may do extra things for him and try to just calm him. He does the same for me as well. It works so much better as we get over it more quickly and we don't get upset with each other. it doesn't mean I agree with his bad moods or he with mine, it's just that we realize that it feels better to be there for each other than make it worse.

    Answer by bjane01 at 10:32 PM on May. 25, 2010

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