Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

how should i handle the idea that my baby daddy who was in the hospital when i had my daughter never sign her birth certificate and now she's nine and a half months now but he's barely around and he dosen't do anything for my daughter.

would i be wrong if i tell him to stop coming around because when he do come around, it be no more than 15 minutes or so. but now he's talking about stepping up his daddy game, would it be to late for me to give him a chance or should i just give up on him all in one.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:22 PM on May. 25, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (7)
  • let her be the one to give up. it's not fair of you to stop him trying imo. let her figure it out on her own.
    angevil53

    Answer by angevil53 at 10:25 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • you can give up on him all you want
    but if he is the father of that child and you deny him his natural right to see this child that's bad on you
    if you dont want him coming over to your house then you can ask that you be able to drop her off for an hour or so at his moms, or sisters, or whoever's family will allow that.

    and also somethings that women dont understand
    some men do not like the mother of their child, so they only come around a little bit. if you call him your "baby daddy" he's that for a reason. because you can't be TOGETHER. so making the option that he visit his daughter alone might be better and maybe he would see her more.
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 10:27 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • give him a chance first..
    I gave my son's father a chance.. and he chose to see her 2 days out of 7 days and that was the week I was suppose to be moving [he was talking about he wants to spend time with nathan before he and I move out of state and yes he gave me permission] well.. I never moved because my plans got changed.. and he still hasn't seen him so I told him to stay away from us [bad on my part yes.. but I personally think it's better for nathan NOT to know his dad at all if he doesn't even try to be there]
    see if he tries to be there before you do anything
    kittenripmaygo

    Answer by kittenripmaygo at 10:34 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • I wonder why the two of your choose to have a baby; it sounds like he wasn't really ready to be a parent.

    File for child support, and build a great life for you and your child.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 10:44 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • sit down and have a real talk with him about specific expectations. if you are going to parent your child together without frustration, you need to be able to do these things. lay down a routine that works for you and does not disrupt your daughter's sleep schedule, etc. let him know what he will be responsible for, how long visits should be, how things need to be scheduled so you are not constantly reinventing the process, etc.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 12:05 AM on May. 26, 2010

  • let him do his thing and you be a good parent at this point he is not causing the child any emotional pain by not being there regularly and he has plenty of time to correct himself before she will remember he wasn't there. Let her be the one to not choose him. Thats what I did with my son. He has no contact with his father by his own choice on the rare occasion his father calls he will hang up on him when he finds out who it is and doesn't refer to him as his father...but then he doesn't refer to him at all.
    bandrplus2

    Answer by bandrplus2 at 1:51 AM on May. 26, 2010

  • dad's don't have to sign the birth certificate, for one. and you can't give up on him. I know she's too young to make the decision right now, but for her sake you have to let him keep trying until he puts her well being in jeopardy. as long as she is safe and happy being around him, then let him try. and just because he is in your dd's life, that doesn't mean he has to be in yours. at least for no more than what it takes to co-parent your daughter.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:15 AM on May. 26, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN