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Should I invite someone my dd does not like to her bday party?

My Mom wants me to invite my brother's girlfriend's daughter to my dd's birthday party. They will be married in about a year. The girls are about 4 months apart, with my dd being younger.

Here are the reasons that I do not want to invite her:
1. Both of them make my skin crawl
2. My dd does not like the other girl, but will play with her at family gatherings.

The reasons that my Mom wants them invited:
1. They will be family soon.
2. They play together well. (My Mom does not hear my dd saying later that she did not have any fun with the other girl)

They have invited us to her birthday party, but we have not gone. The girl's birthday is on a minor holiday, and they have the party on that day, even if it is durring the week. The parties always start late (6 pm).

I feel like I should not invite them for my sanity durring the party, but my Mom is making me feel guilty about not.

Any ideas as to what t

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:32 PM on May. 25, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (14)
  • Do what your daughter wants. If she doesn't want her there than don't invite her.

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 10:35 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • i would invite them and hope they don't show. just to be civil, but that's how i am.

    Answer by angevil53 at 10:41 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • Yes, they are going to be family, and you may as well start out on the right foot. If your daughter plays with her at other gatherings, then she'll play at her party, too. Don't ignore them now, it will only cause hurt feelings.

    Answer by Bmat at 10:42 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • I would say pray about it. After all she is a child, in which you could have a positive influence. If its the parents that you have a hard time with, let them know they can drop her off & have some them time & be back @ so & so time. Although I can somewhat relate, I had a friend when my boys were young, & her son use to drive me nuts, he was adhd, rude, arrogant, in your face, loud, always snot running down his nose that his glasses set on the tip of. I hated that I felt this way about a child, & would usually suck it up & do whatever to get thru, but I didn't pray back then & do now & quite often, God softens my heart about tough situations. Blessings to you.

    Answer by meme4x at 10:45 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • Yes... JUST becase she will be family. If it was someone you had to invite for social reasons I would say no, but she will be family, and family loves each other, even if they don't like each other.

    Answer by sunshine58103 at 10:48 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • Now, I'm not sure of the reasons that she makes your skin crawl, and I don't know how old they are, so I would have to take that into account, BUT....

    1. It's amazing how children pick up on their parents feelings about others. Usually, kids are totally without prejudice towards other kids until/unless that kid is just mean or their parents don't like them. Just wondering if it's possible that your DD doesn't like this girl because you don't?
    2. They will be family, and you will have to be around them, anyway, so might as well start trying to get along now. Be the bigger person.
    3. She's a child and should not be punished because you don't like her mother.
    4. It seems so important to me to raise children with openness towards others who are different, maybe this is a good opportunity to start?

    Answer by Adelicious at 11:04 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • I would invite them but I wouldn't blame you if you didn't.

    Answer by thisloveofmine at 11:39 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • They are going to be family, so they need to be invited whether you like them or not. Your daughter is too young to make decisions about who she likes, IMO. Maybe if she were 10+ it would be different, but she won't even remember this bday party so why should it matter to her? It's better all around to try to make peace and be nice. You should invite them and be kind.

    Answer by Laura2U at 12:01 AM on May. 26, 2010

  • Do what you feel comfortable with, dont let people bully you into doing something you dont want, or your child doesnt want.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:05 AM on May. 26, 2010

  • I would invite them. A they will be family B your daughter plays well with the child according to you and children who truly do not like other children do not play well togther C it will keep the peace

    Answer by bandrplus2 at 1:43 AM on May. 26, 2010

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