Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

mad that I am spoiling her baby ?

My sister in law is mad because I "spoil" her baby ... she actually told me that and was serious ( and has been ignoring me )

I have my 3 month old neice EVERYDAY and I have already kept her overnight more than a few times ... i watch her while my SIL does " her things" .... so I have bought alot of things for her and alot of it I keep at my house ( clothes, bassinet, carseat) ... and yes they are very girly and cutsie daughter is 5 and when she was a baby they didnt have this many "girly things" ( we couldnt find a pink carseat anywhere !) ... and she also liked to help take care of the baby... My SIL, has the baby's room done in "neutral" and only wants her to wear "neutral" things... I feel if I am watching her that often, and you dont send extra clothes with her, why be mad that I dress her that way...and if she is that mad, why is she still letting me watch the baby?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:53 PM on May. 25, 2010 in Just for Fun

Answers (10)
  • sounds like she's insecure about you taking good care of her child, roll with the punches if you don't want her to take her from you (you know). ugh, people. if this is the worst thing she'll have to deal with all year then she's got it made, right?!

    Answer by angevil53 at 10:57 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • Don't see how that's spoiuling the baby. Let it roll off your back.

    Answer by gdiamante at 10:57 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • Just because you watch the baby doesn't mean you can go agaisnt the mother's wishes. If she doesn't want her dressed in girly things than don't do it.

    Answer by SaraP1989 at 11:02 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • Just ignore if. If she doesn't provide you with these things to take care of her during the day, she doesn't have to right to complain about what you use. Hopefully by the time she has number 2 she'll loosen up and stop being so neurotic. I know people who only want their kids having wooden toys, no noisy stuff, only gender neutral, etc...but seriously who doesn't want their litle girl in a cute little pink frilly dress? :(

    Answer by mom23boys679 at 11:03 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • I second that she feels insecure. Try including her it the fun stuff and maybe she will catch the "girly" stuff bug. Or if this is her first child and she had it in her head that her baby was going to be a certain way and she was going to fight the norm and all that, showing her daughter this other side might be irritating to her.

    Either way try to include her more. When you buy stuff, leave the tags on and ask her if she likes it. Be really excited about it "Look what I found!! OMG aren't these cute!!! I really couldn't pass them without buying them for her. What kind of Auntie am I if I didn't!!!" I have a friend that does that to my child, but I know it's not because she wants to be better than me, it's because she can't resist buying baby stuff. Remember its her baby and although I wish I had someone like you around to give me a break, it's still want she wants that counts.

    Answer by sunshine58103 at 11:09 PM on May. 25, 2010


    Of course the main reason I buy the girly stuff is because I find it cute... I do try to include her and do the OMG LOOK HOW CUTE lol .... but she is just a very plain jane...and I was always the person who likes bright colorful things lol

    Ok but SARAP ... she doesnt send any clothes ( besides what she is wearing) and maybe 2 diapers... and I will have her pretty much all you think i should let her be naked just so her mom wont care that she is wearing pink ?


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:13 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • I have a friends that only wanted either gender neutral or even boy clothes for her daughter's baby shower. (she wanted a boy too..) but I do think it's weird that you bought all that stuff for her... but it's also not right that you watch her so much so I guess since you do and since she doesn't drop her off or whatever with everything necessary then I don't understand why she is upset.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:37 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • Look it's obviously an issue for her. Maybe she feels it's important to raise her child as gender nuetral as possible. My Psych teacher from last semester said if she ever has or adopts children she will let her little girl play with trucks and her little boy play with dolls. She wants them to wear gender nuetral clothing and such.

    She wants to teach her children that their value is in who they are as a person and not who they are physically.

    Personally it's not my cup of tea. My barely owns an outfit that isn't pink but if it's important to the mother you should follow her rules. You don't HAVE to buy PINK outfits in order to buy the baby clothing.

    ALso maybe she's upset because she can't afford the things you are buying for her baby.


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:55 PM on May. 25, 2010

  • Just because she doesn't bring extra clothes, does not mean you can't dress her in what you want. Respect your SIL wishes and not dress her in girle stuff. Buy the what you call it... plain Jane things. You act like this is your baby. Well I'm here to tell you she's not! and just because you watch her, does not give you the right to do whatever you want by her and undermine your SIL


    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 3:03 AM on May. 26, 2010


    If I am buying the clothes , I will buy what i want ..if my SIL doesnt like it, she doesnt have the drop the baby off everyday just so she can get her nails done and work out ....

    It isnt because she wants her raised "gender neutral" ... because she wont let her wear blue or green ....just just wants tan, brown, and grey things .... and does not want her to grow up playing with cars and mud ( convo we have had) ... My daughter was raised to wear pink and play with boy toys ... it isnt like she wont want to play with those things because she wore pink at 3 months old

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:17 AM on May. 26, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Just for Fun
Rock star baby?