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Why do army wife's identities seem to be 100% tied to their DH's job?

There are so many women on here with screen names that have to do with being an army wife. When they are talking about themselves or introducing themselves, it's always "married to a soldier" etc.

I'm proud of our soldiers, don't get me wrong, my best friend and my brother-in-law are both in the army.

You don't ever see "chemistwifey", "bankerwifey", "wife_to_a_doctor" or "I'm a 29 year-old mom married to a teacher", "I'm a proud firefighter's wife and mom of 3" or "a 35 year-old wife to a musician"

I'm sure we're all proud of our DH's too but for what ever reason our identity as a person isn't tied to it, so why are military wives?


Asked by Anonymous at 2:43 AM on May. 26, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (30)
  • Just a guess....I think many military people marry young maybe partially because of the travel and they want to stay together...Anyway, I think it may be the really young wives who take on the identity so strongly. I know it is a whole lifestyle thing, unlike most other jobs. I don't think it is wrong or bad in any way, but it is a sort of a "phenomenon".

    Answer by BJoan at 8:38 AM on May. 26, 2010

  • Yeah, it is weird. I'm not sure why that is.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:46 AM on May. 26, 2010

  • Is it wrong to be proud and to be supporting our role wherever we want? Being a military wife is not easy. The military is essentially the wife while we are the mistress. We get to deal with the PT's and deployments and the training that interferes and take OUR men away from our homes for huge parts of the time, while they fight for our freedom. Yes okay, so we are aware of the repercussions of being a mil wife before we get married, but we can't help who we fall in love with. Job or not, we love our men. We just happen to be supportive in any way, shape, or form. Putting the silly magnets on our cars, making our account names into what we represent, etc... That is just what we do.

    Answer by MissMommyK at 2:56 AM on May. 26, 2010

  • i dont think shes saying its wrong i think she is just REALLY wondering why it seems that wives of men in the army present themselves as that.

    ive wondered it myself. and dont see it as wrong, just curious/

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 2:58 AM on May. 26, 2010

  • I'm and air force wife, but I don't go around advertising it. It irritates me too. I'm very proud of my husband, and yes he puts his life at risk when he does his job, but so do police officers, firefighters, and a lot of other people. I'm also proud of my mom. She's a teacher and we all know teachers are severely underpaid and under appreciated. I think a lot of women want to be complimented for a "job well done" as a military wife. And i even know one who's in it just for the benefits and the recognition. You should be a supportive and proud wife no matter what DHs job is.

    Answer by sstokes86 at 3:00 AM on May. 26, 2010

  • I didn't say it was wrong did I?! I said most of us are probably proud of what our DH"s do and I'm sure many of them have jobs that change our lives, schedules, etc. but no other group of women's identities seem to be so connected to what their DH's do. It's great that you're proud, it's great that you're supportive, I'm just saying I don't understand why so many military wives can't seem to separate themselves from DH's job title.

    If someone was always on her talking about their Dr. DH and making banners and siggies about it people would probably call her stuck up... if someone with a mechanic, accountant, or trucker DH did this a lot of women would think this was odd or silly...

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:06 AM on May. 26, 2010

  • its a military wife thing thats why you dont "get it" op lol... seriously, that is a good question i was a soldier and im an army wife but, i dont advertise it as much as some ladies do.. i think most of the women who "identify" themselves with their dh job are mostly the ones who stay at home? being a mom and a military wife IS what they do... idk though. *shrugs shoulders*

    Answer by 3xangel at 3:16 AM on May. 26, 2010

  • I have noticed that women that served in the military themselves and then married military men don't seem so wrapped up in DH's job... My sister-in-law was in the army until she had her DD and she doesn't seem so attached to her DH's job...

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:20 AM on May. 26, 2010

  • They need to make themselves look important.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:21 AM on May. 26, 2010

  • maybe they just miss them a lot and its always on their minds? i dont know...

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 3:24 AM on May. 26, 2010