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teens and sexting..help

I check my 13 year olds texts on occasion(she does not know) why because I want to make sure she is making the right decisions and behaving in an appropiate manner. A boy she likes send her an innappropiate picture. I am not sure how to handle this, especially with all the consequenses this can bring to her and the boy with the child pornography laws. She did not share the pic with any friends. I need to bring this up to her but do not know how. We have talked about the cyberbulling and how any post online or through text can get her in trouble. Sexting just did not come into my head how naive was I huh. These teen age years are going to kill me! Help please and for those that say I wa snooping you know what yes I was and she is my daughter and I can do that...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:45 AM on May. 26, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (9)
  • What the hell is so hard about taking her phone away? Make a decision already PARENT. It's not like she's going to the Verizon store and buying the phone and service on her own.
    jewjewbee

    Answer by jewjewbee at 7:55 AM on May. 26, 2010

  • I think when you saw that the phone should have stayed with you. Don't give it back, the you need to sit down and have a talk with her. Explain to her the consequences. She could be charged with child porn with will be on her record forever and be considered a sex offender. Tell her about what could happen if she sends pictures back. He could, and mor than likely will, show them to his friends if it doesn't go around the whole school. Try to do it in a nice way though but make sure she knows this is serious.
    mrsbean08

    Answer by mrsbean08 at 8:10 AM on May. 26, 2010

  • taking her phone is NOT enough, she could just as easily go to a friends house and do the same with someone else's phone if she really wanted to,but you should tell her about the law like mrsbean08 suggested, and tell her how guys like that really are, please dont forget that part, you must make her aware that most guys are snakes and will charm their pants right off. the only reason i didnt have sex in high school is because i was scared to, and being that age a girl must have her mind made up before thos kind of encounters happen. so please talk to her and not just talk, find some clips online of like teen mom or 16 and pregnant or something similar to show the downside of sex and sexting, and maybe find articles about teens getting in trouble for sexting and such, make it relevant to her and her age group, go to youtube or something, find some abstinence groups or something!!! before its too late.
    secondtyme520

    Answer by secondtyme520 at 8:39 AM on May. 26, 2010

  • Yes you can do that and you were right to do it. Does this young man come to your home? If so, I'd look him in the eye and tell him I saw the picture. I'd also tell him what you said about the child pornography since he is the one that distributed it. I personally would take the phone to his parents, show them and get them involved. As parents we have to band together to protect our children from themselves and their ignorance about what's right and wrong regarding sex/sexting.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:42 AM on May. 26, 2010

  • I cannot believe you are all so naive!!! Of course, none of us want boys, or anyone for that matter sending naked or inappropriate pictures and messages to our tweens and teens and we certainly don't want them sending them back, but if she is friends with this guy, she already knows what kind of person he is. Yeah, maybe talking to the boys' parents, taking her phone away and giving her a lecture can stop the problem, for about 2 seconds and in the long run, she totally distrusts you!! She feels she can't go to you for anything and certainly has to now hide things from you. If you have kids anywhere near that age, you MUST know what goes on. I am not saying you have to accept it, but I am saying, you have to have a little tact and develop and closer relationship with them. You should have talked with them about this stuff long before now so they knew you would be monitoring their usage, just like the computer, perhaps
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:30 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • (continued) if you are worried about her finding out you check her messages, the next time she is being disciplined for something, the restriction could be her phone being taken away and inform her that you are going to review all of her messages right then. That way, she will be aware that her messages are being review now. You don't have to blow this big ordeal in her face, just start having more open talks and changing the way you interact. Believe me, it will go a long way to having a more trusting relationship with her instead of a distant one, where she is sneaking around and hiding things from you.

    I speak from experience. I was a sneaky kid for that very reason and wanted to make sure my kids weren't the same way, Look into Love and Logic Parenting. You can all think I am totally wrong, but I promise you it is the better way to go int the long run.....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:35 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • Believe me I have no problem taking the phone away, I have done it in the past for diff reasons. Likesecondtyme said she can just use another mean like from her friend. It is an issue that must be addressed bc of all the trouble she can get into being charged with child porn if she were to forward that to a friend. I just was in shockand needdsome ideas of how to approach the situation. I speak to my daughters very openly and honest about sex and boys.. I tell them if u think u are old enough to have a bf then u should be old enough and mature enough to have these conversations with me..point blank most kids don't want to talk sex with their parents. I am very open with them bc my parents weren't, either way it is still weird for some kids. We watch 16 and preg together andhave some good discussions we talk about the std's and I make sure they know sex is just not intercourse.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:30 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • It is just crazy the pressure and circumstances they have to deal with so early in life and we as parents have to deal with the stresses of it everyday. Wow I am just still in shock I have told her I don't approveof that boy. He is in the same grade and age group but she told me he had done some stuff with a girl. I told her he was way ahead of the game from where she was and that it was just going to be trouble bc boys will sweet talk u and what not to get what they want and say I love u. And girls buy it cause they think it soo sweet that they loove them..ugh boys are phsysical they don't get attached like us girls or women for that matter we are more emotional about what we do..now to get that thru her hhead! Thanks to everyone who commented really appreciate it
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:36 PM on May. 26, 2010

  • Contact the boy's parents now. Really, if it were your son, wouldn't you want to know?
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 7:52 PM on May. 26, 2010

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