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What advice can I give to my mom about my younger brother?

So yesterday my mom called me very upset and asked if I could speak to my brother. I asked what's going on. She replied that he has been giving her attitude, he's a 16 1/2. Also that his friend's have been advising him that he should go to college to become a radiologist. My mom wants him to be a Pharmacist. So my question is should I get involved in her dilemma with my teenage brother or let her handle it? I get both sides because I'm a mom and I want the best for my kids. Then I get the other side why go to college for a career that I don't even want to do. Idk, I told her I would think about it. Do you'll have any suggestions? Well this is ironic my mom is asking me for advice and in turn I'm asking you'll. LOL

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:23 AM on May. 26, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (12)
  • ok so my sis is 18 years older than i am and sometimes it took someone younger to relate or relay messages to me that my mom couldnt get through cuz when ur young u think ur parents are crazy! at the same time my sis would also be able to tell my mom when she was just being unreasonable and sometimes she helped a lot. she would get stern with me when i got out of line and being that she wasnt a parent her threats were usually a little more serious (like "raise your voice at mom again and i will slap you myself etc) and it worked. so tell your bro to quit being a jerk and tell him and you mom that he has to choose his own career path, he can not do wha always pleases her.
    secondtyme520

    Answer by secondtyme520 at 8:30 AM on May. 26, 2010

  • His career his choice. If anything I would talk to your mom about her trying to make his career choices for him is wrong. Maybe the attitude is coming from her being overbearing. Sounds as though he has a good head on his shoulders if he is planning on going into the medical field. Both take alot of years to complete and both make very good money.
    midnightmoma

    Answer by midnightmoma at 8:31 AM on May. 26, 2010

  • he shouldnt be disrecptful to his mom. but career he chooses is really none yall business he going do what he wants
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:31 AM on May. 26, 2010

  • Well your mom should be glad he is willing to do what he wants and not be getting into trouble and doing drugs. If you do talk to him talk to your mom as well yes he is going on 17 and soon will be 18 by then he is legally an adult. I know your mom meanswell but she really needs to step back and support him. if he starts to mess up that is when she can intervene and she shouldn't over react like I TOLD YOU SO!!! just tell her to relax and see what happens. GL
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 8:44 AM on May. 26, 2010

  • I would figure out how to gently tell your mother to back off on the career choice. He's the one that has to do the course work.
    As for the attitude, he's 16 ½ - he's pushing boundaries and seeing where she'll push back. She needs to push back.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 9:11 AM on May. 26, 2010

  • When he gives her attitude she needs to ground him or take his car away, something that would show him she's not just going to stand by and take it. Him going to college though, that's his choice what he wants to go for. College is stressful enough without having a parent hound you about it. He has a couple years before college, he might pick something totally out in left field, your mom needs to learn to respect his decision. It is his future after all, not hers.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:32 AM on May. 26, 2010

  • I'd tell mom to let up on the boy about what he wants to do once he gets through years of college. That part is HIS choice. Get through each day now with respect for him and he'll show her respect. She needs to just be thankful that he's wanting to go to college. I'd encourage that part and he can decide what the wants once he gets through the first couple of years. Schools don't even require you to pick a major until you have been there two years. So speak to both of them. Encourage him to keep up the good work heading for college and his future then tell mom to lighten up. She had her chance to decide her future. He has to determine his.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:35 AM on May. 26, 2010

  • His career plans are HIS to make. If your mom is thinking that his not wanting to pursue the career of HER choice is attitude, she's wrong. If it's more than that, then maybe it's time to look at how she is dealing with him. She needs to be respected by him, but to get that to happen she is going to have to also respect him (including his career plans, which could easily change many more times). If he is just being generally rude or disrespectful, then there should be consequences for that (you could give your mom some ideas for appropriate consequences that might help her).

    If I were you I WOULD talk to him and try to find out why he is being disrespectful to his mom, and let him know that it's not cool. You can also let him know that you understand where he is coming from and try to help him see that your mom may be going about it wrong, but she really does just want what she thinks is best for him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:04 AM on May. 26, 2010

  • It's up to him what he wants to be, and it shouldn't matter what his friends say or what your mom says. As for the attitude, that's what all teenagers do because they think parents know nothing! lol
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:06 AM on May. 26, 2010

  • he should stop the attitude but you have to see that she is kinda causing it == so she had to back off the career thing, it is HIS life and he wont be successful if he isnt into his career. if he is going into medicine either way - i dont see why she isnt just happy for him... she needs to chill..
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 10:22 AM on May. 26, 2010

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