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would you allow your child to go visit distant relatives she has never met with her paternal grandmother (EX mother in law)

Paternal grandmother wants to take my DD to Alabama, to go visit relatives she has not seen in 35 years. Something in my gut tells me not to let her go. DD wants to go because she sees it as a vacation. Her father is not going, just grandma & the three grand kids. I talked to my mother about it today & she said that if she does not know these people DD will be visiting, she would absolutely NOT let her go. The thing that gets me is that paternal grandma does not know them too well either. They were reunited at a funeral a few weeks back after not seeing them since childhood. She would be extremely pissed off at me if i did not let her go. But, i can't shake that gut feeling i have to keep her home with me. What would you do & how would you deal with the crazy grandma???

 
samurai_chica

Asked by samurai_chica at 10:18 AM on May. 26, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 35 (74,081 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (25)
  • YOU are the mom and if you have a gut feeling not to let her go then you don't! Even if you don't have an exact reason as to why you do not want her to go it's your choice and she will get over it. She would have to understand your concern..without knowing who your dd is going to see why would you let her go?!
    dbodani

    Answer by dbodani at 10:26 AM on May. 26, 2010

  • Trust your gut.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:22 AM on May. 26, 2010

  • How old is your kid?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:24 AM on May. 26, 2010

  • I agree trust your instinct.
    yolandasix

    Answer by yolandasix at 10:25 AM on May. 26, 2010

  • She is 8 years old. Am i being overly paranoid???
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:25 AM on May. 26, 2010

  • Nope, if your gut tells you not too, then I wouldn't. She wil get over it.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:26 AM on May. 26, 2010

  • I would say no. If she tries to argue with you about it tell her that you are the mother and you decide where your child does and does not go. I agree with you. If you feel like something is a mistake, it more than likely is.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 10:26 AM on May. 26, 2010

  • It would depend on the child's age and how well I thought Ex-MIL could supervise her. If you believe your Ex-MIL will watch her closely, and you trust her to do that, themn I'd send her. If the child is very young or your Ex-MIL cannot be trusted to watch her closely then I would tell her that you are not comfortable with your daughter being that far away for that long with a group of people who are strangers to you and your child. Tell her you would be fine with DD spending some time with them to get to know them if they came to the area you live to visit, but the time, distance, and unknown aspects of the propsed trip is too much. GL!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:26 AM on May. 26, 2010

  • Nope,, not unless you trust grandma completely,, I would ask for the names of these people and do a search on them,, Do you let her stay with grandma now? How old is your kiddo? I would be more likely if she was 10 or 11 years old and is pretty self aware,,,if she is little,, just say it is too long and too far away,, I am sorry I don't feel comfortable,, to appease your daughter I would plan a nice mini-weekend for her,, I have to tell you my MIL was living with this man,, and it caused ALL kinds of drama that I wouldn't let DS spend time alone at her house.. GUESS WHAT??? We found out he had molested his own son,, and had his rights terminated!!!!! I had grief from everyone,,until that happened,,Mommy's guts do not LIE!! Take care and let us know what you decide!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 10:27 AM on May. 26, 2010

  • 8 years old, no way! I wouldn't let my 8 year old go away with anyone for any reason.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 10:27 AM on May. 26, 2010